Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Monday 20 August 2007
20 August 2007
Three games in to the new season and the signs are hopeful for progress on the pitch at last. Town are, of course, yet to win a game this term, but after Saturday's draw at Bury the side is now unbeaten in six games extending back to April's 5-0 win over Barnet. If only the Mariners' management off the pitch showed the same kind of nous as Lord Alan Buckley's leadership on it, then perhaps the club wouldn't be directing its travelling supporters to Lancashire for a friendly at Gainsborough, tying up deals with radio stations granted their licence by Ofcom only because the competition was even worse, and dropping loud clangers on its superb new official website almost on a daily basis. Staff at Last Resort FM, explains the SNOS, "have been working hard behind the scenes to make sure that problems that occurred during Town's first two games have now been irradiated". But put that Geiger counter down right now, mister, because the club goes on to insist that "apart from a problem at our hosts PTV on Saturday, which brought every club website down, the Compass FM commentary seems to have been a hit with Town supporters." So that's alright, then.
"Had my first experience of Compass FM on Saturday," writes Rob Smith in an email to the Diary. "What a shambles. Even the music pre-match and during half time was awful. When Town scored it took me a while to realise that they were even on the attack. The co-commentator Scott added nothing at all. Had they just dragged him out the crowd or away from his GCSE coursework? All he ever said was that Town looked like they would score from every attack in the first half and that Bury would score from every attack in the second half... well, that's high-quality analysis for you! The main commentator said at least three times that Futcher had never scored for Town... I am sure that he scored for us at least once. There was no scene setting or an attempt to paint a picture, describing the away following as about 150 when there were over 400. They need someone who knows the club inside out, a king of stats with some gusto and passion... bring back Tondeur and Kerr... we might as well watch it on teletext."
Yes, Ben Futcher scored three times for Town, all in 2006: once in the 2-2 draw at Torquay in January; again in the 1-1 at Rushden a couple of months later; and a third in the 2-1 win over Lincoln in the home leg of the play-off semi-final in May. Let's hope LRFM can irradiate these glaring factual inaccuracies, and fast!
Did you know Town are playing tomorrow night? Neither did the Diary until I became aware, thanks to Lincoln City's official website, that the Mariners are due to send a side to Sincil on Tuesday for a Lincolnshire Senior Cup tie. That'll explain why Straight Peter Bore was rested from those onerous bench duties on Saturday then.
"Well, this must be some sort of record?" writes Ben Gresswell. Rather than offering an opinion on the new MJ Hibbett & the Validators album, though, Ben is emailing the Diary to take a swipe at one of my colleagues here on Cod Almighty. "It is nearly five months since we enjoyed(?) a Postbag on CA," he points out. "I can only assume from this that either nobody writes in any more or you simply cannot be arsed? On a less whingeing, whining note, isn't it nice to feel slightly optimistic about the new season for a change without even considering that we might be in for another fight for survival? Although we haven't won a match yet, initial impressions are that we have a defensively adept team that can play a bit of football to boot. We seem to have a nice mix of youth and experience in the squad as well." Yes, the form so far is looking good and the squad is well balanced - this season's performances have shown so far that there's a lot of good work being done, and just the one slacker letting the team down. But enough about the Cod Almighty team - Town are looking sharp as well.
"Just a quick email to tell you and the Diary readers that there's a mighty fine looking podcast on Mariners fans first online radio station BAWC Radio," writes pioneering teenage fanzine editor and pesterer par excellence Jake Olley. "Sod the Fishy's 10,000 pages - this is the Tees Knees!" I see what you did there, Jake. If I give the link, will you stop asking me to write stuff? Please?
"Apologies if this is old hat and everybody's already had a good laugh at this, but isn't this 'Knut', one of Paul Groves' less successful signings, disgracing himself on Norwegian TV?" asks Steve Evison, adding a YouTube link. Thanks for the link, Steve; that is indeed yer man Fostervold providing superb entertainment, but it was Lennie the Loser who signed him, not Pompey Paul. Now write out 50 times: I will not get cynical Cockney careerists mixed up with bona fide Mariners heroes!