Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 2 October 2007

2 October 2007

Hello, Miss Guest Diary here with you on a bright and breezy Tuesday morning pondering the complexities of time. These days I find myself increasingly remarking to people how quickly the week has flown by or how I can't believe it's nearly Christmas already.

So I was pleasantly surprised at the weekend to discover it's not just me whose life seems to be accelerating away from her, but that it's a recognised phenomenon about which there have been scientific studies. Apparently by the time you're 20, even with a life expectancy of 80, you are already halfway through your life in terms of your subjective experience of how times passes; and by the time you're 40 your life is 71 per cent over.

I don't know how the formula works so I can't tell you where I fit in on this scale, but I certainly feel I'm hurtling towards the 90s at breakneck speed. One of the explanations for the phenomena is that each new year that passes is a smaller proportion of the whole: if you're ten any previous year is ten per cent of your life, whereas at 50 it's just two per cent.

But there is hope, for experiments have found that time passes more slowly when we're experiencing new things: hence a week on holiday can seem, in retrospect, to have lasted much longer than a week in the office (though not at the same time, I hear you mutter).

Turning my thoughts to Town, I began to speculate whether the 4-5-1 formation being played by Buckley this season is not, as we all assume, due to the lack of a decent strike pairing but merely Alan's desperate attempt to slow time down by introducing something new into his, and our, lives. And could bringing Lump on in the dying minutes of recent games be just another way of stopping time, for we all know that nothing moves slower than the Lump.

I won't be there to witness whether Buckley continues this ploy at tonight's game against Chester as I will be losing another 1 per cent of my lifespan at what I expect to be a rather tedious meeting in Boston. I'll leave it to Cod Almighty's excellent factfile to give you all the news that is fit to print.

I was to be substituted myself at the game by Guest Diary but he is too poorly to attend; but obviously not too poorly to scour the GT for trivia. Let's hope that the Fentydome doesn't have one of these gadgets or we'll lose half the crowd and, these days, half the squad too.

It's macaroni cheese time now. Goodbye.