Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 26 November 2007

26 November 2007

Poor old Barnet. They must wonder what they ever did to upset us, eh? Or, in particular, to upset Danny North, whose double in Town's 3-0 win at Underhill on Saturday means that, of his nine goals in first team football so far, five have been scored against the Bees. It's bad news for Phil Barnes and his tonsils, who appears to have a struggle on his hands to regain his first-team place in goal as another stunning performance from Gary Montgomery meant a second straight clean sheet for Town - after a run of 22 games without one - but North has described Saturday as his "perfect day". "Another clean sheet, three points for the team and I'm on the scoresheet twice. I don't know why but I've got a bit of a knack for scoring against Barnet," the 20-year-old striker has told the Grimsby Telegraph with endearing understatement. The result, of course, extends the Mariners' 100 per cent historical record against Barnet to five matches - all of which have seen the north London side fail to score. After some weeks out of the first-team picture, young Danny's stock has shot up quicker than a smack addict just escaped from rehab, and the player has rapidly become to Barnet what Straight Peter Bore was to Boston. Or what Simon Ramsden is to Grimsby, for that matter.

If, like the Diary, you watched Alan Shearer's Football Focus interview on Saturday (and then spent the rest of the weekend snorting hysterically at the thought of the England manager's job being given to the Geordie millionaire crybaby, who spent the second half of his captaincy of the national team standing around with his hands on his hips), then you too would have savoured the studio lighting showing up the scar on his upper lip. Next time Shearer and Mark Lawrenson are trading insight-free platitudes on Match of the Day, then, perhaps they could compare notes about their ill-treatment by Mariners defenders, for such is the flavour of the contribution made by 'Lawro' to a new book about the regrets of Merseyside-connected celebrities (come on, it's been a gap in the market for years). The Preston-born former Republic of Ireland defender explains that he has lacked his own front teeth since 1975, when he lined up for North End against Town. "When Grimsby won a corner I kept my eyes firmly focused to head the corner to safety," quotes the Liverpool Echo. "I did. But just at the crucial moment of contact I tasted a big, fat Grimsby elbow... bye, bye teeth." The Diary isn't sure how old Justin Whittle would have been at the time, but I'm not ruling anything out.