Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 12 November 2007

12 November 2007

Now then! Town's results so far this season have been rubbish, but not relentlessly so, as anyone who was at Blundell Park on the evening of Tuesday 4 September will grudgingly be forced to admit. As, indeed, will anyone who just used Ceefax to follow proceedings as Lord Buckley's men tonked third division Hudderfield by the increasingly astonishing margin of four goals to one. The West Yorkshire side are sure to be praying, then, that Carlisle Five will overcome the Mariners when the two sides meet in their FA Cup replay next week, as the winners will travel to Huddersfield in the second round. The replay will take place sometime next week (on "Tuesday 19th November", says Town's superb new official website, where they like to publish important information without checking that it makes the least bit of sense) and follows Saturday's, um, battling 1-1 draw at Brunton Park, when Tom Newey became the third Mariner in four games to be witlessly sent off as he gifted the Cumbrians their late equalising penalty with a deliberate handball. So could lightning strike twice? Well, according to Wikipedia, lightning strikes the Earth on average 100 times per second. Then again, according to Wikipedia, S Club 7's 'Reach' was composed by the late Ronnie Hazlehurst.

It's been a quiet few days in the Diary's inbox - except for an email from Wycombemariner which begins by quoting last Wednesday's Diary: "But I still like Ben's email, because it's calmly and clearly reasoned and doesn't say BUKCLY OWT in capitals 80 times." Why? "I wrote the said message that Diary refers too," claims our correspondent, presumably referring to a forum posting. In fact the Diary hasn't visited a football messageboard since about last December, so all messageboard postings portrayed in the Diary are fictitious and any similarity to actual messages is entirely coincidental - not to mention really quite funny. "I spelt 'Buckley Out' correctly and it was only 75 times not 80," continues WM. Well, that's alright then. In fairness, Wycombemariner admits "proceeding to lose the plot" after last Tuesday's defeat at Bastard Franchise Scum FC as "I went over it all again in my mind. Can you blame me? Did you witness the 1st half? It was enough to drive someone to murder, preferably Ciaran Toner's." Well, he got dropped for Carlisle, which is much the same thing.