Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 31 December 2007

31 December 2007

Now then buggerlugs! You find the Diary preparing for a traditional New Year's Eve - round at our mates' house with a stack of Badger ales, avoiding all the vexatious part-time drinkers in the pubs and crazy mad taxi fares. It is to be hoped that the Mariners are keeping a similarly low profile this evening - perhaps not an unrealistic aspiration with Tony Gallimore long gone - but how else is the football club that we love preparing for 2008? Martin Butler's loan transfer from Walsall will be made permanent while Big Ben is still bonging, with the Saddlers' local paper the Express and Star reporting that "a small fee will be involved but neither club has revealed the exact figure, which is likely to be small". So, small, then - much like the reserves of patience held by supporters who have criticised Butler mercilessly for failing to convert all but one of the goalscoring chances he has not yet been given.

As the world approaches the opening of the transfer window, Town's superb new official website also reveals that Lord Alan Buckley is in conversation with Barnsley about extending Rob Atkinson's loan deal, which will otherwise expire on 6 January. The SNOS then gamely attempts to make clear the convoluted details of who will be able to sign whom, when, and on what terms once the window opens again, possibly in a bid to avoid last season's embarrassing cock-up when Martin Paterson had to return to Stoke despite both clubs and the player wishing his loan at Blundell Park to continue, not to mention all that business the other year when Town had to stop selling beer at Blundell Park because they'd forgotten to reapply for their licence.

Sir John McDermott has, as expected, not been given letters after his name by the Queen in her new year's honours oojummy - but everyone knows that the monarchy plays a ceremonial rather than an active role in the constitution while, as Yes, Minister famously pointed out, the Times is read by people who actually do run the country. It must be worth far more than a crummy gong, then, that Town's record-breaking former right-back has been named as one of 2007's sporting heroes by the Sunday Times' John Aizlewood - just below Ricky Hatton, Paula Radcliffe, Jonny Wilkinson, David Healy and Brian Ashton. So if Macca were to come out of retirement he'd score a hatful of goals for England on the way to the 2010 World Cup final, even if it sounds like taking the bloody piss given his injury record.

Fans of enormous former Grimsby centre-halves would have been thrilled to see Tony Crane's Boston United line up against Georges Santos' Alfreton Town the other day - and the Boston Standard has since offered us a reminding glimpse of the Crazy Legs we all knew and loved. "The 6'5" defender's punctuality and desire to train have been questioned on occasion this campaign," begins Duncan Browne's report on a 2-1 win for the Pilgrims, sealed with a late winner from Crane himself. Perhaps surprisingly, the player failed to cap his man-of-the-match performance with a red card, but United manager Tommy Taylor apparently couldn't help remarking as the amply derriered defender uncorked his champagne that "Craney's resolution is to lose weight in the new year!" He's just big-boned, Tommy.

Anyway, did you all have a nice Christmas? I hope so. Some of you found time to email the Diary about testimonial matches (in response to a plea from Denby back on 21 December), which was good of you. "My first game was Dave Boylen's testimonial, circa May 1976?" writes Séan Carr. "How about non-playing staff? I went to a testimonial for a deceased physio about 1980. I'll dig the programme out this weekend for details. Terry Donovan wouldn't sign it as he left the pitch! Booooooo... he was my favourite striker." Martin Robinson remembers "seeing Sheff Wed in a testimonial, was it for Tony Ford? Played in dense fog and we couldn't see half the pitch." Ian Pickett (who works in Hatfield, the poor sod) watched "Harry Wainman against an all-star XI in 1973; Dave Boylen against Coventry I think, 1974; Dave Booth (15,000 - selling tickets for another game - 1979?); and I think Kev Moore", while David Wilkinson recalls that "Ron Cockerill (John's dad) had rather a good one. I seem to remember Mark Lever having one but I could be mistaken. In my view it's high time Alan Buckley had one but that might start some controversy!" Yeah, best wait for the late-season play-off push to start that one off.

"What a relief to see an update to the greatest goals piece," writes Clav Divs. "I see we have reached the '3th', which presumably just leaves 2st and 1rd to go. Luckily, when you repeat this article in a few seasons' time (i.e. when you have deigned to finish this one), there will be nothing new to add (save, perhaps for when Mr Jones slipped and fell fortuitously near the oncoming cross the other week against Mansfield), therefore providing useful padding when there is nothing more to say about new stadium, financing, etc." Thanks, Clav - guilty as charged, I fancy. All that remains for the Diary, then, is to wish you a very happy new year, to thank you for reading and emailing throughout the old one, and to beseech you to stick with us in 2008 while we try and reverse CA's precipitous current decline in standards by locating the several members of CA's editorial staff who have vanished from the face of the Earth in recent weeks. Cheers!