Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Monday 17 December 2007
17 December 2007
Amid their longest ever spell in the bottom division, the Mariners are mired near the foot of the table, running up unsustainable debts as fans turn their backs and transfer targets run and hide. In these circumstances only the most optimistic of supporters could mention the word 'promotion' - and sure enough, Positive John Fenty is doing just that today. "The away fans were in great form on Saturday and there was rapturous support for the elated players as they came over to the fans," enthuses the Town chairman on the club's superb new official website. Lest you wonder what has sparked PJF's sudden interest in Mansfield supporters, he's actually talking about the Brentford match nine days ago - but our leader goes on to point out that the Mariners' four wins in their last six games in all competitions would represent "promotion form" if you extrapolate it into league form across the whole of a season. All credit to the Fentster for his indefatigable spirit, but surely the only person who is optimistic enough to extrapolate it into league form across the whole of a season is one who is optimistic enough to plough ahead with a major building project despite a £6m hole in its finances.
Being laid low with a nasty bout of disco flu, the Diary was forced to spend Saturday in bed and missed the Mariners' narrow but just-about-deserved victory over Mansfield. It seems that I was not the only one afflicted, as the enthusiastic and likeable commentary that normally accompanies Mariners World highlights has been replaced by verbal stylings from Premium TV's anonymous Cockney substitute commentator who clearly has no knowledge of the clubs and players he is being paid to expound upon (as evidenced earlier this decade, when his coverage of GTFC was peppered with references to a player called Michael Reedy). "Just about keeping that ball in play," he says, as Nick Hegarty just about keeps that ball in play. So far, so good - but as Hegarty sends a high diagonal ball towards Paul Bolland, the commentator responds: "Chop forward nicely to Bar Lard!" As if to confirm his ignorance of the club, our southern interloper responds with amazement to a narrow miss from Danny North. "He's blazed over! Eighteen yards out and he's blazed over." No shit. Now sod off back to the Queen Vic for some jellied eels.
"This is not an advert but genuine FACTS! If you order a CA T-shirt by Wednesday I will get it to you before Christmas, i.e. post out the same day. We have 'I heart GY' T-shirts in both small and 'girly fit' in stock. And they are printed in red on black T shirts. Lovely! And we have every size in all the currently sold designs. Yuletide greetings to all, Cod Almighty T-shirt man," writes Cod Almighty T-shirt man in an email to the Diary. You heard him!