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Diary - Tuesday 22 January 2008

22 January 2008

If at first you don't succeed, then for crying out loud just give up and sit around moaning about how the world hates you. This is the philosophy that has propelled the Diary through a stratospheric career path which has lately culminated in, well, spending weekday afternoons sipping tea and watching the snooker on the telly. It is clearly not an outlook shared, however, by the Grimsby Telegraph, which has today launched a frankly quite surprising fourth bid to have an MBE added to Sir John McDermott's knighthood. "And the move has the backing of none other than Prime Minister Gordon Brown," claims the local rag, offering a quote from the beleaguered PM which says absolutely nothing about Macca. Of course, the Diary fully supports any move to have the heroic right-back's peerless achievement officially recognised (even though the honours system is a load of toss etc etc and so on). At the same time I can't help wondering whether the Telewag deserves some kind of award as well for its sheer persistence - or its ability to fill column inches on slow news days.

A Gong For John part IV, explains the Telegraph, is part of something called Great Grimsby Day, which sounds like it might be interesting but I haven't got time to look into it today because of having to get this sodding tax return finished. Any road, Danny North is not a lad who needs much convincing as to the merits of his hometown, as the likeable young Mariners forward can be found elsewhere in the local paper talking up Europe's frozen pizza capital way beyond the call of duty. "Some lads give me stick when I go away and say I'm from Grimsby but I'll always be proud to say where I'm from," vows Dan, clenching a fist and pinning a packet of Young's new smoked haddock fishcakes to his lapel. If I'm honest, the Diary actually finds this sort of talk quite stirring - and certainly a refreshing counterpoint to the cynical badge-kissing antics of North's vastly wealthier Premier League counterparts - but if I hadn't reported it with some sort of facetious embellishment I'd be in breach of my job description.

Sam Hird, Sam Hird, Sammy Sammy Hird, he comes from Yorkshire, as do Rob Atkinson andlotsofotherTownplayers butwe'llconvenientlyforgetaboutthat becausethey'redoingquitewell, Saaaaaammy Sammy Hird. Come on, join in! The Diary has composed this chant in honour of the news that Sam Hird has extended his loan with the Mariners for a third month. Whether this means that GTFC will be unable, once this extension expires on 16 February, to keep the Doncaster-born Doncaster defender until the end of the season I have no idea whatsoever, and I'd be surprised if GTFC know any more than you and me. Let's just wait and see, shall we?

"Just to appear more swanky than the average Diary reader," writes Richard Bedwell in an email to the Diary, "I'd like to point out I spent my weekend in London visiting museums and the Royal Opera House rather than Dagenham. The ROH, interestingly, has a more relaxed dress code than McMenemy's, with patrons resplendent in jeans and anoraks." Well, if one of Britain's most prestigious cultural destinations will allow in any kind of riff-raff, then it's no wonder the country's in such a state. What a good thing it is that the top brass at Blundell Park are here to maintain some kind of standards. Indeed, the Diary is further given to understand that Mussolini made the trains run on time.

And finally today, the phones are on the blink at Blundell Park for the third time in a matter of weeks. I reckon they must be on Virgin Media.