Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 26 February 2008

26 February 2008

Leeds Diary is slogging hard for the Man today, the beads of sweat collecting at his eyebrows as he hammers away frenetically on my keyboard. Why? Let me switch to the first-person: I need to knock off a bit early to get to Morecambe for tonight's game. Funny, eh, how on occasion one comes in early to work, stays late, takes bits home, and yet still finds leaving an hour early means working through lunch. Which leaves time only for a quick scoff of my sarnies and rattling out this Diary. Apologies in advance for any potential terseness and brevity.

First, to the participants of tonight's first leg of the chance to go on and uphold the good name of properly formed and geographically placed clubs by defeating the Bastard Franchise Scum at Wem-ber-ley. Team news for Town: Ciaran Toner is a probable absentee; James Hunt and the mighty Bosh are likely to recover from knocks picked up on Saturday; and Tom Newey will return after missing the Wrexham game. Morecambe skipper Jim Bentley, a key player in the Shrimpers' solid first season back in the League, is a major doubt for tonight's game and cup-tied 'keeper Shawn Jalal will be replaced by rookie Scott Davies, making his eighth club appearance.

Mariners World bills the match as "The Biggest Game Of The Season". If they know every other match after this one can't be any bigger, do they know something we don't? Is it all downtable from hereon? Anyway, if you can't pick up Radio Humberside (apparently they are covering the game live, so hooray, no crappy Last Resort FM), consider MW's current four-day "just" 99p deal. It's crap value, mind, working out at 24.75p per day, whereas 12 months' subscription works out at 13p a day, but that's commercialism for you, consumer.

Given Guest Diary's recent bigging up the ever-improving Mariners World - mainly down to the chemistry between Dale and Alan (a sitcom title if ever I saw one) which the likes of Fern and Philip can only dream of - a subscription isn't the worst idea. Until now. Like the BBC pisses away your licence fee on the irksome BBC Three, the SNOS is going to waste your subscription fees on filming A Day in the Life Of. Without flinching at the missed opportunity of a potential Beatles theme tune, the club promises Ryan Bennett "getting up in the morning to going home after a busy day at the club". Busy? Is GTFC's very own Nick Broomfield going to burst the public perception that a young footballer's working week involves squeezing a couple of hours' daily training around marathon sessions on their games consoles, TXTing their M8Z, and watching boxsets of Only Fools and Horses? Unlike the outcome of tonight's game, I know the answer.

And with the last bite of my sarnie I must get my head back down. All the best for tonight, boys, and if you're off tonight get behind the boys. Up the Mariners!