Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 1 February 2008

1 February 2008

"Martin Butler is a complete prat." Discuss. Any self-respecting Grimbarian GCSE student would have a field day with that one. And for those of you who need some crash revision on this most unfortunate of signings, here is your Guest Diarist's first draft of Butler for Dummies.

Mr Butler said on the last day of December: "It's a really good dressing room, they've made me feel very welcome. I'm now looking forward to knuckling down, getting some games in and kick-starting my Grimsby career." Within a fortnight the Worcester-based striker was sick of driving to Grimsby and was after a transfer. Now he had a three-month loan period before he signed, in which he could have worked out that it is a long, boring and, ahem, uncomfortable commute across the middle of the country.

But no, he signed a long contract with the Mariners. And then, to cap it all, yesterday he turned down a move to nearby (for him) Hereford and buggered off to Lilleshall in a fit of pique. Lord Buckley says that he is not injured but "very uncomfortable". Perhaps he needs one of those beaded mats so beloved of minicab drivers? All I know is that this crazy football industry continues to pay players who refuse to work. For fuck's sake, it just makes you want to scream. I would have been so embarrassed that a small wage cut would have been the least of my worries in putting a neat end to a frankly sorry little saga like this one. Martin Butler is, indeed, a complete prat, regardless of his football talent. I rest my case.

In the end the fakery that is transfer deadline day turned out to be a bit busier at BP than we expected. Butler didn't go, but Isiaiaih Rankin allowed the club to cancel his contract. Which was nice of him. Apparently because he fancied cosying up to decent coach but managerial joke Peter Taylor at Stevenage. This was a very nice piece of business in my opinion. And young Heggggarty could go to bed last night thinking: "Ooh, somebody asked about me."

But the best news of all is that Lord Buckley managed to persuade Barnsley to let us keep ever-improving centre-half Rob Atkinson until the end of the season. Believe me, I am Justin Whittle's fourteenth biggest fan, but young Atkinson is the sort of composed young centre-half that we need to supercede him. And when he goes on to better things we have Ryan Bennett to step into his footwear. Bearing in mind the 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it' maxim, we retained average-defender-but-no-wing-back Sam Hird for another month as well.

In fact Buckley has revealed to the myriad of Mariners World watchers that he has made Hird an offer. Hird won't stay all season, apparently, as he wants to swallow the shilling (which is a bit like your partner saying they won't go out with you any more unless you marry them). But Mr Hird has baulked at the offered wages. No doubt more on that story later on in the season.

Ciaran Toner won't make the team again tomorrow, but might be fit enough to sit on the bench (which is another daft habit - why put half-fit players on the bench when you are not short of choices?). Paul Bolland has had an injection for his aggravating ankle injury and it remains to be seen whether this has settled it down. Tom Newey is gritting his teeth after getting injured doing that block tackle thang. And Buckley says he doesn't mind him and Hird doing the channel hoof. Although the great man has noticed that the main stand dentists don't like it. AB then muttered something about Brazil and self-consciously creaked his new leather jerkin.

Wrexham has seen the error of its ways and has restored Town's Friday night away game there to Saturday 23 February. Which means that, according to the superb new official website's only slightly out-of-date fixtures page, that there is only one other Friday fixture - home to the Bastard Franchise Scum. Which I won't attend on principle anyway.

This unbeaten run has to end sometime - let's hope that it is not tomorrow. See yer.