Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 25 April 2008

25 April 2008

During the Second World War Desperate Dan did everything he could to stop those pesky Nazis. Examples of his will-to-win spirit, coupled with his prodigious prodigiousness, included skimming stones across the sea that sunk enemy ships and inhaling vast quantities of gas so he could fly into the sky and swat Messerschmitts down with his bare hands. In short he was a hero, albeit a perpetually hungry one. Your Guest Diarist relied heavily on Dan for entertainment in those sixties days before the Beatles introduced him to dancing and girls. Latterly my heroic figures have been closer to home: Livvo, Jones the Stick and Justin Whittle. This seems to have coincided with my loss of interest in dancing, although I wouldn't mind going to a northern soul session with Macca as it happens.

Sergeant Whittle's name has not been mentioned by either the official site or the Grimsby Telegraph as being in any way injured or otherwise unavailable for tomorrow's last home match of the season against Peterborough. So my fervent hope-against-hope is that Whittle will figure in the game, given that it is his last chance to be saluted by the Mariners faithful (all twenty-nine hundred of us or thereabouts) before the expiry of his contract with Town. Like Desperate Dan, Justin seems to belong to an earlier age when right was right, tackles could be a fraction late as long as you got a bit of the ball, and it was OK to inspire people by example. Oh, and eating enormous beef pies was a very good thing indeed.

Nowadays you can be locked up for trying to inspire people ("He invaded my space - I need counselling!"). Why, they even took Dan's gun off him in the end, you know, and changed his character to that of a bumbling fool. But Dan will always be a heroic figure in my eyes - daft as a brush but strong as hell, and always looking out for the underdog. Justin Whittle is not a technically gifted footballer, but he has a heart like a lion and he is a character to root for. He lifted my heart many a time after a dismal result by trotting over to the Pontoon to applaud the fans. And, of course, he 'did' Shearer in the most magnificent way. Even Desperate Dan would have been proud of that one.

We will have to be careful tomorrow or the away fans will outnumber us, as the Posh reckon they will sell two thousand tickets for the match without breaking sweat as they continue to dream of catching the BFS at the top of the table. In lieu of a factfile here are a few of the things that might have gone in it.

Town are 5/2 to win most places which is nothing like long enough, so have a daft punt on Jarman to score first at 11/1.

Town team news: Jones is recovering from his operation; Hunt is out with his Achilles; Till has a nasty twisted knee and is out for the season; North is back in contention, but Jarman must start (it's the law). Buckley has said he may well pick Peter Bore, although it sounds like not as a striker. Posh news: Liam Hatch is out with a bad knee but Shane Blackett might be fit enough to return. Tommy Williams might keep his left-back place after doing well against Hereford. All the forwards are ominous absentees from the injury and suspensions lists. Shit.

Refwatch: the ref is Mr Melin from Surry. We had him away to Brentford in December when, despite a decent away win, Tony Butcher felt he had to describe Melin thus: "This big drip was absolutely awful. He had no grasp of the basic concepts of physics, for he consistently interpreted falling Townites as failed foulers. His insistence on throw-ins being taken from exactly the wrong spot further back was his only idea of firm control."

Speaking of pies, the rumour is that tomorrow might be your last chance to get one at Blundell Park. It is the end of another era, it would seem: let's hope we get to give Justin a proper send-off. See yer.