Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Monday 21 July 2008
21 July 2008
Every summer, when the Mariners' inauspicious form in pre-season friendlies causes a rash of pessimism among the club's supporters, the Diary's mind is cast back to the year 2003. Government weapons expert David Kelly was found dead in suspicious circumstances, triggering the Hutton Inquiry; the Eupatoria Planetary Radar was sending a METI message Cosmic Call 2 to the stars of Hip 4872, HD 245409, 55 Cancri, HD 10307 and 47 Ursae Majoris, due to arrive at these solar systems in 2036, 2040, 2044, 2044 and 2049 respectively; and a tremendous-looking clutch of new signings by promising young manager Paul Groves was racking up an impressive run of victories against SD Portmany, Sant Raphael, Lincoln City, King$ton Communication$ FC, Boston United, Halifax Town, Barton Town and Middlesbrough. Oh, and a 1-1 draw against Sunderland. Just a month or two later, of course, the same team was losing 8-1 at Hartlepool en route to a second successive relegation which constituted the most traumatic event for Town fans in an entire generation. The moral of the story: if your team loses 3-1 at Corby in the middle of July, it doesn't mean they're going to have a rubbish season. They probably will anyway, but it's nothing to do with whether they lose 3-1 at Corby in the middle of July.
In any case, Saturday's 2-1 home defeat by third division Oldham - with a headed goal by new signing Richard Hope - found Buckley's battlers in much better shape. The Diary is able to bring you this information only on the account of third parties such as the Grimsby Telegraph, whose account of the match adds that it was watched by 732 people: it would have been at least 733 were it not for Town's bizarre decision to charge ten pounds for admission. True, the Diary may spend most of the year taking the piss out of the suits who run GTFC, but that doesn't automatically give them the right to take the piss out of me in return.
With four signings in five minutes having given a boost, earlier in the summer, to Town's initially catastrophic season ticket sales, can Mariners devotees expect further confidence-boosting moves in the transfer market now that the friendly defeats are unreasonably shaking their optimism? Probably not. The mystery trialist who appeared in the home defence on Saturday did little to secure a contract, and the two forwards Alan Buckley has been pursuing will not be arriving at Blundell Park any time soon, it appears. Sprightly former Aston Villa tennis star Michael Boulding is expected to step up to the third division with bloody Cheltenham Town, says the Mariners' superb new official website, while Delroy Facey has remembered where he left his phone but can't "negotiate a settlement" to leave Gillingham, reports Kent Online, and will stay and fight for a place at Priestfield, which at least means he can't score four times against Town for Lincoln next season.
With half the squad already crocked just two matches in to Town's busier-than-usual pre-season schedule, and the postponed game at Winterton rearranged for tonight - just 24 hours before the Mariners take on Gainsborough Trinity - Lord Alan Buckley has opted to field two separate teams at the games and give them a whole match each. "I want to try and give all the players 90 minutes now and that's why we rearranged the Winterton game. Some will play the full game there and others will tomorrow at Gainsborough," the GTFC manager explains in today's Telewag. Pre-season marks a fine line, of course, between building up your players' fitness and knackering all their hamstrings and stuff. When the Diary returns tomorrow we might have a clearer idea which side of the line Town are coming down on. Bye for now!