Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 9 July 2008

9 July 2008

Does anybody ever see a UFO when it rains?

Greetings Earthlings! I have come from afar and I like what I see.

This is Deviant Diary calling earth from a tin can far above your world. Sensors indicate carbon-based life forms in the region you call Blun Dellp'ark that were not present during my last visit. All is the same, yet different. Send down a search party.

Enough cod fripperies, what news shall ye olde replacement Diary bring you this ninth day of the month of July in the year 2525? Any news of any more replacements? The New Nick is to replace the less than devilish old Nick. Newly committed to the Mariners' cause Nicholas De Fenton is ruminating upon life, the universe and everything of being a Town centre-back. Today may be the Feast of the Martyrdom of the Bab, but young Bob Atkinson is but a rotting apple of a memory now we have potential H-bombs in the central defence of our realm; and Fenton knows it. Will Nice Nick be around on Friday? Town promise a full squad will be at wet Winterton, but will crumbling Fenton be amongst them? Will he get on the bus, or forget about us, and put the blame on Buckley? Where there's a will there's a way to Winterton.

On a windless day for news, thoughts turn to the innocence of lost youth. For those still pining for the mysteries of Joe Lightowler the riddle of the sands has been revealed. He was at Scarborough all along. And now he isn't. Town's old youths are crawling over lower-lower-lower league football, though all roads seem to lead to Bust'un eventually. Parker and Parker? Yes, m'lady, they're there too.

There's a message coming through on sub-space channel 9. Are you lonesome tonight? Is this you?

Pack your brolly, strap down your hairpiece: football is back.