Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 21 November 2008

21 November 2008

So we got a win last week; now can we conjure the forces of nature and produce a biting north-easterly to accompany the home match against Bournemouth tonight (which will be played in front of virtually no away fans) and get that rarest of treats - a home victory? The bookies still make it odds against Town winning two on the trot (to the tune of 7/5) but there may never be a better chance.

Oh, hang on, look who the ref is - none other than deadly Dave Foster. Foster: the man who doesn't spot a flying elbow at five paces but who sees offences committed in a parallel world and hands out random cards for them, causing much upset in the home terraces from fans not blessed with second sight. Think Bradford at home a year ago, gentle reader. And let's have a competition to guess in which minute we hear ironic applause to accompany one of his decisions.

Your Guest Diarist wishes there was a special font to express irony. One has been mooted - it was in the paper the other day: bold ironic. When Town fans dream of their messiah they are sometimes bold but seldom, sadly, ironic. All too often they sigh and imagine the return of some former local demi-god or the one-hit-wonder prodigal returning chastened and full of promises to carry our load and rescue us single-handed. Occasionally the bait offered is bigger and juicier; the fishy cocktail involves not just a player to knock in a few goals at the end of his career, but the passing-on of coaching wisdom, and also the single-handed regeneration of the town's fading property market. There are sore mouths from those sharp rumour hooks all over the messageboards this morning, methinks. Now think on, folks - Town got themselves into the current predicament and Town will have to get themselves out of it.

Continuing with the ironic theme, I hear the Gloryhunter (a bloke spending an entire season drifting from team to team switching allegiance to whoever wins as part of a daft ITV online project) has ended up supporting Droylsden after they dumped Darlo out of the cup. Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke, eh?

Any road, that's quite enough hubris for one Friday morning - how will we manage without the splendid, but suspended JP Kalala tonight? Manager Newell told Mariners World yesterday that obvious replacement Hunt has a niggly calf. Elsewhere Mr Newell has sung the praises of Clarke's recent performances on the right-hand side but, with Till fit again, the depth of that affection and regard will be tested as he scrawls the team sheet in that delightful Liverpudlian hand of his.

So let's not dream of get-rich-quick merchants descending on our club - we can aspire to better than that. Let's while away the hours until kick off imagining a solid defence, a combative yet creative midfield and goals aplenty scored by bright young local strikers re-finding their potential. Actually, even a scrappy 1-0 will do courtesy of short-term loan players and a bad decision by a rubbish referee. If we lose tonight the knives will be out again and that doesn't bear thinking about. See yer.