Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Thursday 13 November 2008
13 November 2008
Much as geologists derive information about various periods of history by examining successive strata of rock, experts will one day be able to build up an accurate cultural history of England by studying the alternation of eras where children were given quite sensible first names with periods when their parents clearly had some sort of psychological episode in the registrar's office. No, there isn't much else going on today, which is why the Diary has opted for an oblique look at the Grimsby Telegraph's report on Town's various junior teams. If you look at the bottom of the page, the under-15 and under-16 teams mostly have fairly respectable footballers' names such like Danny and Robbie. Granted, there is a certain 1990s vogueishness in such monikers as Jordan, Ryan and Liam, but scroll back up the page to the under-nine and under-ten sides and you find yourself confronted with the likes of Harrison, Kai, Keelan and Reece, which should clearly all be illegal to use as first names outside Hollywood. What the future historians will glean from this about English society at the turn of the 20th to the 21st century is unclear, except perhaps that parents were no less pissed out of their heads all the time than anyone else.
Which brings us tidily to today's next item: Tony Gallimore being outed by a teammate as an enormous pisshead. In his recently published autobiography Danish striker David 'The Golden Dude' Nielsen - who made a big but brief impact for the Mariners during a loan from FC Copenhagen in the 2000-01 season - is unequivocal about the former Town left-back's fondness for a drop or two. "In England they drank until they couldn't talk any longer and hardly could stand," writes Nielsen (courtesy of Jostein Jensen's translation). "That was the rule. And the managers knew it well, as they drank themselves. Drinking is in their culture. In Grimsby our left full-back was alcoholic. He had been on Antabus several times and had been in rehab for alcoholism. He was named Tony Gallimore and came in every day smelling of booze. Weirdly enough, he played terrific in the games; he was also the sweetest man off the pitch. But after every training session he hurried through the shower and drove straight to the pub, where he remained the rest of the day." Not so much a revelation as a confirmation, of course. Readers looking for something a little more surprising are directed to the Wikipedia entry for Nielsen, which mutates the 'player X was knobbing player Y's wife' formula into the infinitely more scurrilous (and interesting) 'player X was knobbing player Y'.
"It seems to me Town's demise is typical of today's labour market," writes Dave the Engineer in an email to the Diary. Steady on, Dave - they're not dead just yet! "People take jobs, whether they really want them or not, hoping that something better will appear on the horizon. Unfortunately as a pro footballer when you have reached the bottom there is little chance of climbing back up again, hence motivation and commitment disappear. Sadly the young lads we have without the mercenaries, with the odd exception, are not good enough. Still, up the Mariners." I can't disagree with any of that; the issue is whether the new manager can reverse it. Call me a crazy optimistic fool who's spent far too much time away from Grimsby, but the Diary reckons Mr Re-Newell has exactly the right personality to sort it.
That's all from your regular Diary for this week, then - it's over to Guest Diary tomorrow, but I'll see you next week. Thanks for reading. Cheerio!