Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 5 December 2008

5 December 2008

Jean-Louis Akpa Akpro has got an older brother called Jean Jacques. The younger sibling has been snapped up by manager Re-Newell with commendable speed, aided and abetted no doubt by the Town board. Some say that Fenty had a dream (like St Paul on the road to Domestos) that French-speaking players are the future. No doubt. No doubt. But here we are, all excited at the prospect of new players who we don't know, and especially don't know if they are any good. And quite right too: better than some old lag, a veteran of 11 clubs and still only 29 or summat with messages of dark warning from fans who he has disappointed before. Let's give this rough diamond a go - forget Fowler, who the Daily Star reports is planning "to stay and fight for his place". Right. Give me Akpy-whatsit any day.

M. Akpa Akpro, despite sounding like a mysterious 1950s cleaning product, has the Ivory Coast in his heart but was born in Provence and grew up watching Waddle at Marseille. Your Guest Diarist used to work in Marseille - a town very like a big Grimsby (if Grimsby had stayed great, perhaps). Full of characters, great fish and people who like to drink hard and who rarely mention calanques. God, I miss it since I gave up my passport for reasons that I have nearly forgotten. Fuck Nice and St Tropez: go to Marseille, a million times cheaper, the sea is the same temperature as Meggies and the people have the same warm-hearted, defiantly isolated air as us Grimbarians.

Akpa-Akpro-need-an-acronym is all but six foot and Newell says of him: "He's got good ability, a bit of pace, good in the air and I think he could certainly be better than this division. He's definitely as good as what we have here already." Play him then and we'll see.

As for the side to play at Port Vale tomorrow, Mr Newell reconfirmed to Mariners World that he has every expectation of pitching his new striker in. When asked again whether he had "seen a gradual improvement in the team" Newell physically squirmed. That's a no then. He said he now knew the best 13 players or so at the club and felt that it would take two or three new ones to radically improve the league position. Earlier the manager had emphasised the support from the board in maintaining a relatively large squad but the time was coming when he would be looking to offload some players. No names, no pack drill. Draw your own conclusions, gentle reader.

As for injuries, Hunt is fit, Till is not and Buscher needs to get his puff back after the reserve game. Port Vale's home form has been a bit crappy, they are skint and seem to rely on loan players to get results. The one thing perhaps that differentiates them from Town is that their best loan player, Brammer, is injured. Vale leak goals as well so there might be an entertaining match in prospect between two evenly matched poor sides. Have a couple of quid on 2-2 at 12/1 if you like a flutter. See yer.