Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 21 January 2009

21 January 2009

Comrades, welcome - it is I, Deviant Diary, bringing news of nothing but the internal contradictions of capitalism, Mr Re-Newell saving the planet and a signing of someone we thought we'd signed anyway.

Money, eh? Where's it all gone? Did it ever exist? The answer is before us, and it comes from Comrade Fenty's meisterplan for Town's renaissance: if there's a hole, fill it up - don't just leave it for someone to fall into. Yes, it's spend, spend, spend to ease the pain with some quantitative teasing. The more cynical and observant will note that the stadium disappeared and the cash appeared, but, hey, that's last year and we are where we are. Chairman Mao-riners has seen the light and the People's Republic rejoices at the beneficence of Our Dear Leader. Hang his portrait from every lamppost down Humberston Avenue; build a statue in the car park of McDonald's; let us sing and dance around the traffic lights in Riby Square: he's doing the right thing now.

With Mr Re-Newell living in Holton-Le-Clay the chances of him being caught doing 95mph on the M62 are radically reduced and Town's carbon footprint is now dwarfed by Tony Crane's backside. Let's hope Mystic Mike has a sturdy cagoule and walks to Cheapside (obvious cheap shot eschewed in the interests of national unity). But remember: look right, look left, look right again as we won't be there when you cross the road. Hey! Let's be careful out there. Citizens of North East Lincolnshire (and surrounding villages of the damned) drive carefully along the A16; you know it makes sense.

Another day, another signing, or more accurately another announcement of The Blond Bob's naturalisation. Cup that ear. Can you hear the echo of a distant time? Beverley-born centre-back partners elegant young tyro at the heart of struggling Town team for newly appointed, highly regarded manager. With Jarman morphing into Gary Childs the clues are there. Next year: infinity and beyond.

And Town's reserves are still going to be playing against Rotherham this afternoon, even if the SNOS has a cold and insists they're playing Rorherham. Town still expect to have some flower power on the right with Mr Chrysanthemum hoping to have international clearance.

Be still. Be happy.