Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 24 February 2009

24 February 2009

Here we are agin, gentle reader, confronted by a tricky-looking home match against those giants of our division, Morecambe. What, I hear you cry, does not every match this season look tricky? Does not every team above and below us seem to have more about them than us? Is it true to say we are the worst team in the league? But we have the best manager - if points were awarded for manager kudos, then we would be in the automatic promotion spots. So let's feel smug about Mr Newell for a second.

On the other hand was the coincident arrival on the pitch of Tom Newey and Lulu Llewellyn a wise way to see out the last 15 minutes of the game at Darlo as we fought for a point? Perhaps now is the time to realise even Newell can't moonwalk properly - you are hypnotised by his honest aura and forget to watch his feet sometimes.

Newell has told the World (Mariners not the Screws) that his first team are a bit knackered and the side needs 'freshening up'. Young Widdowson must have been frolicking against a groyne again because his tender parts preclude his being picked tonight, so reserve full back and considerable liability Mr Newey gets his first start, I expect, since November when we were crap. Wheels having turned full circle if we lose tonight we are definitely mighty crap again - having gone a month without winning. Since that little new year spurt Town have have withered again and will be in trouble if we don't win one or two home games at least. Not too much trouble in my opinion because I am still predicting Chester will collapse. But then I predicted the property crash - just two years earlier than it actually arrived. I can see the future, but my distances are foreshortened.

Jean-Louis, our resident brilliant future prospect since the sad demise in to almost-made-it of Danny North, trained yesterday. Unfortunately no-one is confident he won't break down injured again if he is asked to sprint in earnest. So although he may be on the bench tonight he is too good a prospect to actually play. Remember what Newell said: if we have the best in the squad all playing we can take on anyone. He won't risk it will he?

Sinclair, Newell said, will be better for the game he anonomised in on Saturday where he was twice mistaken for a shrouded Campbell I'm told. Bloody hope so. Dare Newell rest JPK, dare he play our proper right back? Dare he tell Elliott to his face that bottom division football involves other things than looking experienced and winning headers out on the flank (e.g. doing some flipping running about!)? From his time at Town I believe that Elliott's imaginary friend in the sky may be whispering to him that sights need lowering in terms of who he plays for next. Sadly, the more games he plays, the less fit and mobile he looks.

The opponents meanwhile have laughed at adversity. Transfer embargo - pah! Loads of injuries - biff! Illness - triple lemsip made with red bull and play! Twelve points from the last six matches even with that lot to contend with shows remarkable team spirit. And now they have finally got their hands on that young Conference livewire Mickey Duffy. I think the Shrimpers play 5-3-2 which means it is a great shame we can't risk Akpa Akpro who might have had a chance to use his pace down the channels.

Tonight's crowd will be the lowest of the season - bad results, everyone skint, big match on the telly, hardly any away fans add up to about twenty five hundred lost souls I reckon. Apart from that everything is dandy. At least we have a decent pitch to play on. So get the ball down Town and play them off the park. See yer.