Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 20 March 2009

20 March 2009

Your Guest Diarist returns after a welcome comeback by Mr Diary - a man whose purported link between 'Shipbuilding' and Humberston Fitties in yesterday's Diary was the cause of much agonising in the GD household overnight, but whose Diaries in this unexpectedly turbulent week have been the source of both humour and solace, and which have also provided a necessary dose of acerbicity in response to the frankly weird workings of Grimsby Town plc.

So Chairman Fenty bragged of a blank cheque, and manager Newell has decided to renew his squad not once but twice (or is it thrice?) this season in an effort to find a winning formula and a squad who try to look bothered about losing week in week out. Given injuries that curtailed Sinclair's stay (out for the season, they say), that put JP Kalala and Boshell out of the reckoning and Bolland out for nearly ever, you would think (from that list and from the evidence provided by your own eyes if you have seen Town more than once) that getting experienced and capable players in to play in central midfield would be the priority. And before I get sarky about the Telewag article which claims he is about to sign a striker the superb new official Town website announces the names of those whom, it is hoped, will sign on loan to the end of the season this very day. So let's be brave and have a peep.

Leeds midfielder Peter Sweeney, Bradford striker Barry Conlon and inexperienced Leeds youth goalkeeper Jonty Lund (who failed a trial at Burnley, as I recall) are the targets claimed by the OS. Of course this is a source which, according to the manager the other night, you should not always believe.

Conlon got 11 goals this season before falling out with his manager and being dropped for a major disciplinary breach. Despite wild man Barry being follically challenged, Cleethorpes mothers are already locking up their daughters, I hear, and the fast food establishments and drinking houses of Meggies are already celebrating the prospect of a boost in takings this spring because of the expected Conlon fiscal stimulus. Conlon is big, slow and eats raw spinach straight from the tin by the way.

Peter Henry Sweeney is a six-foot left-footed 24-year-old Scot who has done the rounds. He played in the cup final for Millwall, which got him a £250,000 transfer to Stoke. After that his career drifted with loan spells at Yeovil and Walsall before Dennis Wise signed him for Leeds. But McAllister and now Grayson didn't bother with him so his legs are fresh, but rusty - not having played this season. Before you ask, he doesn't get booked and doesn't score. Oh, and he is more of a left winger than a central midfield player - our third left-wing signing this season when we already had that left-footed lad Heggggaarty.

Me? I'm confused. Why do we need another striker, and why have we ended up with three left-sided winger types and lazy-arse Bore in a fit midfield squad of about five? Hunt must be glad he's back in contention but shitting himself at the prospect of having to play alongside these.

But before all that kerfuffle (and remember, none of them is signed yet), Mr Newell had had his chat with Dale on Mariners World. In this he said he needed players "in all positions". Newell also talked about the ongoing improvement in his skipper (not just every game but every day, he eulogised). And he confirmed that Kalala needs a scan, though Boshell ought to be in contention next week but not this. He also said no-one had any idea of Bore's natural position - although it might be an idea to ask... no, that's too rude for this time of the morning.

Yet again we face 'a form team' in the shape of vomiting Gillingham. It is hard to see how we can possibly win given the paucity and unsettled nature of our available squad, but get behind them we must, and let's hope for a big slice of luck. Sometime soon we will play a team who don't give a shit about winning under the auspices of a refereeing team who give us a break. Then when we still conspire to fuck it up it really will be all our own fault. Come on Town! See yer.