Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Thursday 5 March 2009
5 March 2009
Back in 2003 it was Darren Barnard. In 2007 it was Danny Boshell. In between and since it's been Marcel Cas, Luton's Michael Reddy, Paul Bolland and a whole host of many other Town players seemingly chosen entirely at random. What has? The player given the humiliating job of telling the Grimsby Telegraph: "Yes, we're shit, and we know we have to get better, and we will, really, honest, no, I know we've said that before but this time we really really mean it, honest, we really care, I know it looks like we're strolling about the pitch like a bunch of two-bit no-hopers who can't wait for their contracts to end, but that's just because, um... er... TAXI!" And whose turn is it today? Who has been chosen, at the absolute lowest point in more than 130 years of the club's history, to speak desperately needed hope into the hearts of the Mariners faithful who are suffering like never before? Who sums up the never-say-die spirit Town need to avoid the deep, dark drop into non-League football? That's right. It's Tom Newey. And what stirring words does our indefatigable left-back have to reassure us that the players are giving their all - that they're prepared, as Mike Newell demanded the other day, to die for the cause? "Sooner or later it has to sink in that we really are in a relegation battle." Thanks, Tom. You'd kind of hope so, yes. Sooner would be nice, please.
Straight Peter Bore once had a glittering career ahead of him, and Danny North at least a vaguely twinkly sort of one. Ryan Bennett's level-headedness and professionalism, on the other hand, should be an example to both, and his impressive ability to play well in a rubbish team has won him the fourth division's PFA fans' player of the month award for February. "A glittering career lies ahead of him," says PFA official Mick McGuire, glaring pointedly at Straight Peter Bore and Danny North.
Ah, George Kerr. What fond memories that name evokes for the Diary. Third division title, 1980, wasn't it? Mmm. Marvellous. But after a failed attempt to resume his career at Rotherham, I think it was, the last manager to have got Town promoted who wasn't Alan Buckley seemed to disappear off the face of the Earth for a couple of decades before joining Radio Humberside as a pundit. And how well suited (large scotch, please) to the role he is (and another), with his great insight and controversial views (hic!). This is precisely why, in the run-up to a crucial derby between Town and Lincoln this Saturday, the Lincolnshire Echo has sought out an opinion from the man it calls "the opinionated Scot". So with the Mariners at the absolute lowest point in more than 130 years of the club's history and the Imps pushing for a place in the promotion play-offs, what's Kerr's unique take on this weekend's match? He thinks Lincoln will win. It's not a shed, George!
Lastly today - and lastly from your regular Diary this week before Guest Diary steps in for his traditional Friday slot tomorrow - after a magnificent run in the the Midland(s) Floodlit Cup, Town's youth team have bowed out "at the final hurdle", reports the club's superb new official website, with a 2-0 defeat at Port Vale. I assume "the final hurdle" means the final, but the SNOS is curiously reticent on the issue. With young people reportedly moving on in droves to other social networking websites, the term 'Myspace Mariners' is rapidly becoming defunct - so what should the Diary's new nickname be for Town's youth team? Email diary@codalmighty.com with your fiendishly clever suggestions. Thanks for reading, be strong, and don't forget to clean behind your ears.