Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 23 June 2009

23 June 2009

"New signing imminent" would be a promising headline to the latest bulletin on the SNOS, except that it actually reads ""New signing imminent?" That question mark lends a plaintive air to the article, and indeed it proves to be a rehash of remarks already published elsewhere, with the suggestion that if there is a new signing, it will be Peter Sweeney and that it certainly won't be a goalkeeper. However, the article does say that Mike Newell is back at Blundell Park today. Middle Aged Diary can exclusively reveal the answering machine messages he has returned to:

"Hi Mike, it's John here. It was so difficult having those important conversations on a crackly mobile wasn't it, but anyway, as I said last week, it is, OF COURSE, your decision about Ryan, but I was wondering if you'd thought through all the implications. Let's have a proper chat when you get back."

"Hello, Mr Newell? You don't know me, but my name is Anthony Williams, and I hear you are looking for a goalkeeper. Though I say it myself, I built up quite a rapport with the Grimsby supporters in my time there, so... oh hang on, my wife's just reminded me you'll be able to check what I'm saying is true... better leave it I think."

"Hello Mike, it's Mike here... you know, Michael Owen, scored lots of goals for England, once. I just wondered if you'd got the brochure my agent sent? I know you've got some good forwards there, but I'd be happy to compete for a place on the bench with Danny Nor... just a minute, that's Phil Brown on my mobile. Must dash... metaphorically, I mean - wouldn't want to risk dashing with my hamstrings... oh blast... you didn't hear that did you Phil?"

In other 'news', if you bruise easily, make sure there are no careless people with feathers in your vicinity as This is Grimsby reveals that Robbie Stockdale is looking forward to the League Cup game at his former club, Tranmere, and he thinks that Danny Coyne, if he is still playing at Prenton Park, will also be looking forward to it. Admission prices for this happy reunion have, of course, been "slashed".