Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 17 August 2009

17 August 2009

"Apart from a late Ryan Bennett header against the post, Town failed to create a significant opportunity throughout the 90 minutes," reports today's Grimsby Telegraph on the depressingly familiar shite-out witnessed at Blundell Park on Saturday. Indeed, the Diary was so dejected by this point that I can't even remember any late Ryan Bennett header against the post. And of course, I stayed to the end. I stayed beyond the end, in fact. I was sitting in my seat with my head in my hands until about quarter past five, unable to believe the utter pig toss I had just witnessed from a Town team that looked devoid of ability, devoid of a game plan, and - other than some signs of spirit from the forwards, on the rare occasions any of their teammates decided it might not be a bad idea to give them the ball now and again - devoid of anyone, for the 24,908th time in the last ten years - who looked vaguely like they might have given a shiny shit about the outcome of the match.

So we've tried changing the manager, and that didn't work. We've tried getting rid of loads of shit players and bringing in some decent ones, and that didn't work. The only option left, it seems to the Diary - the only way to end the misery that so profoundly blights our lives for three quarters of every precious year of our time on God's sweet Earth - is to close down Grimsby Town Football Club. Not convinced? Just imagine an existence free from all this pain. Imagine yourself liberated forever from this endless round of suffering and shattered hope. Feels good, doesn't it? That's why the Diary's campaign to Shut Down The Town starts today!

And you can help. Email diary@codalmighty.com to join the campaign - and tell us exactly why and by how much your life will improve when we achieve our aim and Shut Down The Town. Yes! Join the Diary's campaign to close down Grimsby Town Football Club right now and claim back your life from the grip of unending despair!