Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Wednesday 16 September 2009
16 September 2009
Just as the Grimsby Telegraph was getting us all excited about the possibility of a comeback for Town forward Nathan Jarman - by some distance the best footballer at the club - in tonight's 4-0 home defeat for the reserves by Plucky Scunthorpe United, the Mariners' superb new official website has dashed our hopes. "I would love to play some part against Scunthorpe tonight," the player told the Telewag in an optimistic article about his return from the injury that's kept him out all season so far, although he did add: "I'll probably have to wait until next week." The stiffs' line-up, as it transpires, offers no such happy tidings, though there's another run-out for that trialist right-back, Chris Ramsey, that's his name, and a starting berth for another injury returnee. If, as Danny North seems to be demonstrating, the door of rehabilitation is always open, then there may be hope yet for Straight Peter Bore.
"ALL new multi-service customers whose initial application form is received and processed by the Utility Warehouse between 1 September 2009 and 30 April 2010 (inclusive) will be entitled to receive a one-off extra discount of £100 on the cost of using UW services, which will be credited to their account shortly after their first anniversary as a member." Nearly 2.5 million British people are now claiming unemployment benefits and, remarkably, whoever it is who thinks the previous sentence constitutes a snappy opening to a piece of marketing copy is not among them. It's something on Town's superb new official website to do with cheaper electricity and stuff, if you're interested, which after an opening gambit like that must go down as a long shot to rank with Phil Jevons' at Anfield.
John Kirk has emailed the Diary in response to yesterday's aside that Town's goalkeeper is on loan at "the scenic end of the M180". He begins: "I gather from Tuesday's Diary that young Josh Lillis is now on the books at Barnetby, the only place I can think of as being at the scenic end of the M180, the other being in Yorkshire, and there's nowt scenic about anywhere in that county before you get to the slag 'eaps of Barnsley! Barnetby is indeed a lovely place, and I spent many a happy childhood hour there at my granny's, watching Mayflower steam towards Grimsby, whilst cattle trucks came gently down the line from Brocklesby on market days stopping opposite the old malt kiln."
Well, that all sounds idyllic, doesn't it? But that isn't all. John continues: "Now if he's on the books of Barnetby in the Scunthorpe League, I do have to tell you that perhaps rather than struggling in the third division of that esteemed league, he might be better signing on for us at Winteringham. This does mean that he'd have to compete with the club's number one Rick Watson who has seen us safely through the preliminary round of the Lincolnshire Sunday Cup by 8-0, and draw 2-2 with arch rivals Queen Bess. So he might have to warm the bench for a few weeks before he gets his chance. What's more, I think he'd find the journey slightly shorter by a couple of hundred yards, and he'd only have to wash the kit once every five weeks." It seems a mighty tempting offer, John, but many Diary readers, I suspect, would aver that Town fans have seen many more deserving candidates for Sunday football than Josh Lillis in recent seasons.