Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 9 October 2009

9 October 2009

Just because Mike Newell has been at Town a year now, don't think your Guest Diarist can be arsed to distil his reign into statistics. Suffice to say we are exactly where we were in terms of attractive football, winning football or anything else that gladdens the heart. Newell has maxed out his playing budget, and his squad - now comprising almost exclusively players he decided to keep and players he decided to sign - are what they are. And what they are does not appear to be doing the trick to keep us away from the bottom of the table, or provide any watching pleasure.

Tomorrow we play Burton for the first proper time. Fans are praying for a point. Burton don't do 0-0 apparently (as recorded in our pre-match factfile) and have garnered most of their points so far at home. Two home games (Burton and Rochdale) - if we don't win one of them then something may happen. Does Newell fear the Rochdale reaper, gentle reader?

Our striker surplus which made the squad look so unbalanced has resolved itself with Conlon perpetually suspended, Proudlock perpetually likely to be, and now Danny North has been publicly embarrassed by the fax making his availability known to every non-League club in the northern hemisphere along with Peter Bore (described, I expect as a heterosexual utilitarian). I am assuming that Newell has picked two players whom a club might be interested in, rather than his two worst players (whom no club bigger than Sleaford Town might look at twice - no names, no pack drill). And I am also assuming that Chairman Fenty (Con) has told him he can't sign any more players until his squad cost comes down. And quite right too - Newell made his choices in the summer; now he has to live with them.

As for tomorrow Boshell-the-accidental-hardman is suspended again, along with Barry Fucking Conlon. Hegggaarty is still injured and Stockdale is even-more injured with the prospect of an operation ending the latest episode of his little cliff-hanger of a story. Newell is pinning his hopes on the hapless energy of Forbes and the adrenaline of The Jarman to cause such a clucking in the Burton hen coop that we somehow accidentally score. Yes, new names for Newell to cling to. And with a ready-made 'what do you expect when they are not match fit?' excuse to use if we lose. At least Linwood is training again, so expect him to play alongside Atkinson, Widdowson and Wood (who will benefit from Forbes chasing back and squawking at him, no doubt - although whether headless chickens are in fact able to squawk we will have to debate in the pub beforehand, I suppose).

Anyway, (I said, ruefully) whichever way you look at it manager Newell is under pressure. His 'big' players have discipline and fitness problems; some of the older kids have attitude (and you never win anything with kids anyway); and he refuses to bother with tactics. It's enough to drive a man to drink. But hey, tomorrow it might all click, I must add, though lamely. Best to keep going - just in case it does. See yer.