Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Friday 8 January 2010
8 January 2010
Boooo, Gordon Browns making it snow, sort it governments, etc etc and so on. The Diary never ceases to be flabbergasted at our response to weather like this: not at the way Britain supposedly "struggles to cope" but at the way people struggle to cope with Britain supposedly "struggling to cope". If you can't get to work, you can't get to work, so stop bloody moaning and make the most of it. Heavy snow is nature's way of telling you to desist from life's breathless dash of busyness and put the kettle on. And, in the Diary's case, to spend the whole day watching YouTube clips of television programmes featuring Victoria Coren. Grimsby Town fans as a whole must find another way to fill this Saturday after the postponement of the team's scheduled visit to Crewe. "Weather beats the Mariners" is the headline wryly chosen by the Grimsby Telegraph to convey this news, prompting the reader to anticipate a quote from Neil Woods to the effect that the Mariners deserved at least a point and Weather just got lucky with a speculative long-range effort in injury time.
Scroll down to the bottom of that Telegraph story a minute. Is there really a local league called the the Seafood Company East Lincolnshire Combination, or has the Telegraph forgotten to type over some placeholder text? Enquiring minds need to know. Meanwhile, the Crewe game has already been rescheduled for Tuesday 9 March, which is a less easy item from which to derive a humorous ending to a paragraph, but of ultimately greater significance, probably.
Nicky Featherstone began his term as a GTFC loanee with some reluctance but has enjoyed himself so much since he arrived that he just can't keep himself away. The King$ton Communcation$ FC midfielder has agreed to return for another month on the south bank, but as manager Woodses explains, we don't want him immediately. "Nicky will be coming back to us," confirms our Neil. "We just have to be sensible in the timing of when we do it. If we do it now, with the Crewe game off, we have a wasted week of his loan." To use an antiquated gaming analogy, it's a bit like when you used to play Pac-Man and you stopped right next to the power pill and waited until the ghosts were right near you before you ate it so you could go and duff them easier.
Anyone remember Chris Jones? The poor lad turned down a new contract with second division Swansea City to join fourth division Grimsby Town, where he'd be sure for a better chance of first-team football. But as Town season ticket holders know all too well from being falsely promised free admission to the team's pre-season friendlies last summer, a promise from GTFC is not worth the air molecules its sound waves are conducted through, and since arriving at Blundell Park Jones has seen less action than Ann Widdecombe. Accordingly, the young Welsh forward has returned to the land of his fathers for a loan to Neath FC of the Welsh Premier League for the rest of the season, presumably as a prelude to having his contract paid up next summer.
Lastly this week, Robbie Stockdale continues to be seriously knackered, with Adrian Forbes still fairly knackered, but Nick Hegarty and [drum roll] Matthew Heywood are now almost not knackered any more and should feature in Town's next reserves game in their quest for not being knackered at all. So long, and don't waste any grit.