Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 26 April 2010

26 April 2010

Your original, regular, great-tasting Diary can't even be bothered to read the habitual reams of complacent "oooh, the pressure's on now, hopefully we can give a good account of ourselves" rubbish churned out by the players via today's Grimsby Telegraph. Can Woodses not slap a ban on his players talking to the media this week? I don't know why exactly ‒ beyond the obvious fact that they have never once in living memory uttered a single word that is remotely interesting or revealing in any way. But it would seem a very dramatic gesture. The silence would be infinitely more enthralling than another round of the players Telling The Telegraph We've Not Been The Best Lately, But We'll Get Better Soon, Honest. And a dramatic gesture of this sort would make the whole week just that bit more exciting, or at least bearable. Because we all know what's coming next, don't we?

I mean didn't you just know it would work out like this? Town finally beating Darlington, for the first time in 15 attempts; Barnet losing and the Insurmountable Gap of Torment reduced to four points. It could all be over less than 36 hours from now, of course, by which time those big tease Bees will have completed their distinctly winnable-looking game in hand at Accrington. But you know as well as the Diary what's going to happen. Barnet will succumb to great whuppage in east Lancashire on the morrow, and again when they visit Blundell Park this Saturday, further narrowing the Insurmountable Gap of Torment to a single point. On the final day Barnet will again suffer an almighty mauling by Rochdale, featuring a hat-trick from Ciaran Toner. Town will scrape a victory against Burton with a comedy goal deflected in off Adrian Forbes' arse. The three points gained will take the Mariners to 22nd place, pushing Barnet into the second relegation spot.

Then the Football League will deduct six points from GTFC for the pitch invasions at the end of the Burton and Barnet games and we'll get relegated after all.