Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 8 April 2010

8 April 2010

Armchair Diary writes: Why, when the powers that be at Cod Almighty were asking for regular diarists, did I volunteer to do Thursdays? Nothing happens on a Thursday. It's the lull between any midweek losses and the impending doom of playing again on a Saturday. On a Wednesday you get the fallout from the midweek failure plus the opposing manager gloating and if you're lucky maybe the odd ex-player saying it's a shame to see their former club struggling so much. On a Friday you get some team news ahead of the weekend fixture and an injury update. On a Thursday you have to somehow make the reserves result sound interesting before plundering the reports from the various academy sides for silly names and then try to dress that up as news. So you'll forgive me, dear reader, if I don't have a great deal of interest for you this week.

Hey! The reserves played yesterday and for the first time since September they faced Hartlepool. The two sides played out a 1-1 draw followed by a 5-0 drubbing for the Mariners then. But what of yesterday's match? Did the Mariners level the score by beating them Monkey Hangers? No. They lost 2-0 actually. The SNOS must know how I feel on a Thursday as even they are struggling to make the reserves result sound interesting: "The Mariner's second string concluded their home calendar" is a pretentious way of saying it as their last home game but credit for trying I guess. It's gets better though as, according to that report, Town even tried cheating by having 12 men on the field. Drew Rhoades (who I'm sure was spelled differently the other week) had a shot near the end but wasn't even in the starting XI or on the bench according to the line-ups. Perhaps Woodses was getting Caspar The Friendly Assistant Manager to try out a new tactic the senior squad will employ this weekend. Watch out for it.

I was right. On 25th March I told you about Drewe Rhodes and Cahrlie I'Anson. The reserve report mentions Drew Rhoades and someone with the surname L'Anson. How can we expect players to be passionate about keeping this club alive and in the Football League when the club's official website can't even get their names right?

Christ on a bike! I have some real news to report. Town have a good old-fashioned keeper crisis going into the Hereford game on Saturday. Mark Oxley has paid yet another bridge toll to get back to Hull for a "reserve outing" today. I wonder where they are going. It's sunny round here so maybe they've all gone for a day out up the coast in Bridlington. Unless it's just wanky journo-speak meaning "match" of course. Anyway, Colgan is having a scan on his injured whatever-it-is and Leigh Overton is crocked as well so unless one of them gets better sharpish then Woodses will be on the phone to Hull's Football Managerial Consultant, or whatever stupid job title it is they gave Iain Dowie to persuade him to go there, to ask if we can borrow Oxley again.