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Diary - Tuesday 20 July 2010

20 July 2010

"The board have invested heavily in putting together a team that will do us proud come August". Define the word 'invest' there, please.

Your Idle Diarist has left his packed lunch and wallet at home. A great way to start reading up for today's diary, dear reader, resorting to chomping through two packets of Hula Hoops from the office tuck box. Were they tasty? Well, yes. Do I feel I am bringing forward my last breath? Well, yes.

Talking of unhealthy eating habits, Town have headed up to Scotland to continue their pre-season preparations. The reason for nipping north of the border? A five-day stay around tonight's friendly against Stirling Albion, not an extensive tour like the club's PR missives have been suggesting previously. Neil Woodses reveals there was only room to take 21 players, but "just because people are not in the squad doesn't mean that there [sic.] are written off... At this moment in time we've only got one game up there. There's no point in taking players and not playing them."

One of the players travelling is trialist David Hutton. "Super touch on the ball, not uncharacteristic of a couple of wide players I used to play with here," says wise Woods. Stop teasing us, man! Just make sure he passes his fit and proper footballer test, so we've the new Dave Gilbert, not the new penis Peter Sweeney. Remember to check they're all in bed by lights out, Woodsy.

None of the Cod Almighty team will be spending their holiday near Stirling this week (unlike last year, when one of us was conveniently in Devon for the club's pre-season piss-up down there), so if you want an on-the-spot lowdown, Grimmo Telegraph reporter John Tompson has travelled up and will EXCLUSIVE SERVICING OFFER FROM THE GRIMSBY TELEGRAPH be Twittering. If you're the sort of person who is into that sort of thing (and can tolerate that awful tiled background on the paper's Twitter page), 'follow' them. It's already got the potential to descend into Deliverance territory. Squeal like a haggis, Tompson!

Boots that weigh "only 238 grams" and "come in bright colours to appeal to younger players"? Take note, right-winger-back Peter Bore! You'll be the rich man's Darren Bent in no time.

We draw to a close with the sad news that Shaun Mawer has passed away. A former young player of the year (for the 1977-78 season), Mawer made his Town debut in September 1977, but his football career was short, as he was forced to retire three years later at the age of 22 due to a serious knee injury. Our thoughts are with his family.