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Diary - Friday 9 July 2010

9 July 2010

Now then - Guest Diary here to lead you by the nose, gentle reader, into a hot and steamy weekend full of the noise and clamour of high performance F1 engines, plastic trumpets and disraeli gears. And the return of team action for our beloved Grimsby Town who are sending two teams to Brigg tonight to kick off their pre-season matches. The game kicks off at 7pm, according to the Brigg website, and admission is six quid (but may be less or nothing if you have a season ticket). Brigg have a lovely ground and a nice laid-back atmosphere so I urge you to go.

What Neil Woods urges you to do is take no notice of the result, the formation, who plays with whom and, although he didn't say it, how well Town play. Speaking to the expensive mouthpiece of the superb new official site on Wednesday, Mr Woods explained that he has twenty-two players in training and that he will play two teams for a half each - with youth and experience, talent and, erm, dross, as thoroughly mixed as a Victoria sponge. In the next game (Frickley on Tuesday) some players (still randomly selected) will get an hour. In the one following that (which is Boston a week today) the others will get seventy or so minutes. So I suppose that means the match against Sheffield Wednesday the following day will be fairly meaningless too.

It's all about fitness, you see, and as the players have been following a scientific approach to getting fit rather than the 'daily beasting' to which Dale refers so regularly and wistfully in his pre-season interviews with all and sundry, then they can't possibly play a full game of football in front of paying spectators until the season starts proper. But the good news from Mr Woods is that "the times are down" and everyone seems to be more partially fit than they should be at this stage.

Woods also talked enthusiastically about his new left-footed centre-half, saying Garner's attitude and enthusiasm to attack the ball had impressed him, also saying that he had watched the player a few times towards the end of last season and was, frankly, astonished when he became available on a free transfer (albeit with a sell-on clause). The manager also confirmed that new forward Ademeno does have pace and power as he had hoped but the search continues for another striker (a goalscorer, no less) and also a utility player who can "cover a couple of positions".

Off the pitch the Riby Square Thunderer has had a field day naming and shaming some of the Town fans convicted for offences committed during the Burton debacle. Now encroaching on the pitch is a criminal offence these, days so no-one can feel really hard done to for getting prosecuted, I suppose. But were the punishments for all the defendants correctly meted out? Maybe fines or community service would have been better in some cases? I wasn't there, but if you were let us know your considered thoughts via an email to the Diary.

Richard 'Handyside' Lord has written in response to Armchair Diary's assertion that all kids want to be a striker. Before I recount to you what he said I need to explain that I never wanted to be a striker either: I wanted to be a winger who could cross the ball (in the air) to the far post for a striker to nod in. Being very left-footed was a good start but taking a flighted corner on a nearly full-sized pitch at the age of ten was a major undertaking, so I practised solidly for about two years until I could achieve it fairly reliably. I also wanted to be a winger because I really disliked heading the ball, but that's another story.

Which leads me quite neatly (as you will see in a minute) to what Richard has to say on the matter: "I'm proud to say I bucked the trend - mainly because, at dinner time football at school, everyone was a striker and no-one passed to each other, so in order to get more touches of the ball I sat in defence and blocked, swiped and struck anything that came my way. I turned out to be very good at it. I was also one of the very few kids who enjoyed heading the ball too. My defensive tendencies also made me a popular choice when picking teams, as I did the job that no one else wanted to do. Throughout my entire time at school, in which there were daily 23-18 scorelines, I reckon I scored no more than four or five goals. It was a record that underlined my dedication to defending and was something I became proud of. I think I would have played more for my school team had it not been for the fact that, at the age of 16, I was still only 5'2" and weighed seven stone. That was an issue only with the PE teacher, who judged me before I had even kicked a bloody ball. Not that I'm bitter about it or anything."

Town's future starts here, folks - and to the eight hundred folk who have bought season tickets already you have to say well done for keeping the faith. Have a great sporting weekend. See yer.