Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 30 August 2010

30 August 2010

Morning campers. Guest Diary here again. Mardy Diary is seeking comfort in the arms of his family before drawing a deep breath and heading off to Blundell Park to find out who is in goal for Town today. He promised to send me a mardy email to try to exorcise his horror over the series of massive defensive cock-ups that caused us to ship three quick and horrible goals on Saturday. They had come, of course, after trotting out for the second half with Woodses' harsh words a-ringing in their ears, and duly equalising with a quite lovely passing goal within a minute of the restart. But the email never arrived - the trauma must be deep, gentle reader.

We know that folk are smelling blood. Why? Because Radio Humberside wants one of my good Cod Almighty buddies on air at lunchtime. I expect they want us to try to either steady the boat or rock it. We're sending our calmest man - but judging from his match report he's not that calm really. He might not mention the point I'm going to make next because there's only so much you can say in two minutes or so about what was wrong with Town at Irthlingborough on Saturday. So I will broach it now. Hidden on the bench on Saturday was a young lad called Andi(y) Thanoj. Not a spelling mistake but of Albanian stock. A promising product of Town's yoof who can play in the centre of midfield. Now I think even in these tortured days of betting scandal Ladbrokes would have given about 50/1 on him being deployed. It was a reward, I expect, for looking bright in training and a recognition that the lad is 'coming on'. A merit mark from Victorian shepherd-turned-teacher Mr Woodses. But imagine for a second, fellow Town fans, if he had rewarded his yoof keeper instead?

Rob Peet is a strapping, six-two, 18-year-old apprentice professional goalkeeper. No, he might not be really ready to earn his corn in the first team but I imagine that if he's like most lads his age he thinks he is. Why on Earth, Mr Woodses, didn't you give him his moment in the sun on the bench? He just might have stopped the horrible rot that followed Arthur's pulled hamstring. At least I'm sure he can take a goal kick without playing Rushden onside. Andi Thanoj probably got some kind of trauma just watching how easily R&D engineered a way round our meek and unimaginative midfield,through our mistake-ridden, argumentative defence and past our poor sod of a crocked keeper. It might take him a season to get over that, if he ever does.

Oh, hindsight, I hear the Town management team mutter. Well, like Fabio bleeding Capello gets paid millions a year and we don't expect him to be learning on the job how to play international tournament football, we don't pay Woods and Moore to bleat about the statistics of goalkeeper injury. Colgan is injury-prone and bad-tempered. You certainly won't see him today - he's got a specialist sick note for his 'tennis elbow'. Arthur, poor bloke, is injury-prone - he's had a kidney haemorrhage on him at Lincoln, he's had his back pack up more than once. Goddamn it, he's even had to design and sell special goalkeeping gloves to protect those sensitive fingers! He's the Chris Kirkland type, folks. If you don't have an outfield player who really, really likes going in goal and is halfway decent at it, you must have a sub keeper. Write a hundred lines to that effect, Messrs Moore and Woods. I'm not even going to start on what aberrations afflicted Mr Watt on Saturday. Or even mention how young master Samuels looked about as ready for the first team as I do.

But all that notwithstanding, as the games fly in at an extraordinary rate the club has to assemble the squad this morning and try to put a team out who will appease a bound-to-be-restive home crowd. The home fans are nothing like as supportive as the folk who travel away. We took over 500 to that little village in the middle of nowhere on Saturday. Fair enough, a few left as soon as we were 4-1 down but bloody hell, a lot stayed to the bitter end. They are as loyal as any fans in the country. Our home fans are just fickle and as grumpy as hell. Yes, I know you have a lot to be grumpy about but channel that grumpiness in to positivity for the teams sake.

Woods has said he has a choice between the aforementioned Peet and the long-retired Mr Croudson in goal. Croudson has been thrown in at the deep end before, of course - his clean sheet debut against Wolves at the age of 18 was dead impressive, if you remember. Who gets picked is anyone's guess, but there's no chance of a last-minute emergency loan - Woods says it is not possible until Tuesday. The SNOS also reports that Bore and Leary remain doubtful. With Peacock probably knackered it might be time for Charles Ademeno (please don't call him Charlie) to play a full part. We have ended up with our creativity on the flanks due to our rather bland and anonymous central midfield players. The team has got to work out a way to get the ball to them. I don't think they should need the manager to tell them how. Just do it, get stuck in, compete and get it out wide lads. Team talk over. See yer.