Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 6 August 2010

6 August 2010

Neil Woods is a man who specialises in exuding avuncular charm to young ambitious professional footballers. From his ruddy cheeks to his quiet manner, to his ability to say "no, young man", and mean it. Your Guest Diarist doesn't mean avuncular like Uncle Monty was avuncular in that cottage on the moors, or avuncular like Rob Brydon is making a career out of being. No, avuncular like the boss in the office used to be generations ago, when a performance review usually consisted of a warning not to be late, a homily about working hard (and then you might make something of yourself) and a promise to teach you how to unravel the mystery of double-entry accounting's finer points. In your lunch hour.

He might not be a man to automatically and routinely conduct a brisk but formal risk-assessment before buying an ice lolly but Woodses is quite up with the times in other areas. Especially formally measuring fitness (presumably using that Prozone off the internet). He's told the lucky few who can afford to be Town fans in the know by subscribing to Mariners Player that not only are all the players looking fit but Prozone says they are fit. Three or four levels up, he says, making it sound like a Mario game.

Unfortunately, some of the first team are too fit to play in the final friendly at Halifax tomorrow. Woodses says they have had too many games in too short a time. Or did Prozone pipe up with that one? So yet again, because of residual niggly injury things and some players' flanges overheating from too much training, no-one will get to see what the manager is planning to call his first eleven before the season starts in earnest. Rumours that these reasons offered are diversionary because Messrs Wood(s) and Moore have so many exciting players to choose from that they haven't a clue who to pick remain unfounded at the time of writing.

But Arthur Kenny has pulled his proprietary gloves back on again and is sort of training - I saw him catching a ball and doing that back-to-the-ball-then whirl-round-and catch-it-when it is thrown-to-him routine that is so popular these days on the SNOS fillum. The manager says Arthur has over a week to get himself ready and that "he will be on the brink" at Crawley.

As I predicted yesterday, the signing of Dwayne Samuel(s) is not the pointless signing of yet another right-back. It is the signing of a determined, ambitious young man with drive and enthusiasm and the ability to try to be a utility player. The interview with Samuel(s) reveals that I was wrong to blame Mr Appleton for that decision to make the lad a defender yesterday - someone else at WBA (whose name escapes me) was the culprit. And Woodses' rheumy blue eyes have seen him in midfield or at left-back or somewhere anyway. So he is signed on a two-year contract. The lad interviewed well, pointing out that the Baggies have been constantly see-sawing between Premier relegation and Championship promotion so there was never a time to give yoof a chance. Let's hope he stays and develops into a good player eh?

And I can't finish without a signing, can I? This is what Glenn Roeder had to say about Robert Eagle(s) when he offered him a contract at Norwich: "It's because I think he's not a bad player, because technically he's gifted, and I think with a full year's working with us and working in the gym with a specific strengthening programme - although I don't think he is going to grow much taller - I think we can make Robert stronger and that will help him. Left-footed footed players are quite rare and he has got a very nice left foot, quite cultured." And he takes a damn fine corner, folks - trust me, we need someone who can do that. Eagle(s) is now signed and on a two-year contract.

So the playing budget is well and truly blown, and Woodses has finally realised he now has to play with what he has got. The rebuild is complete. Plenty of fit young lads who want to prove themselves. Let's hope they do and Town finish a lot higher than the seventeenth place in which that Mr Diary is absolutely fatalistically convinced they will end up. Town are at Halifax tomorrow if you fancy it - and if you go, drop us a line with any sensible thoughts that occur to you. I've got a Camberwell carrot planned meself, but I'll be there in spirit. See yer.