Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 24 September 2010

24 September 2010

Before your Guest Diarist retired to bed last night I made the mistake of watching interviews with both manager Neil Woods and the dual-purpose Mr Dave Moore. Moore is speaking as club physio and rather purposelessly tells us that Ademeno is still injured and a way off proper training, that Arthurs's finger is sore and a bit broken (three weeks) and so on. In a gesture of equal magnanimity to, say, Fenty throwing handfuls of jelly babies into the home stands, these interviews are - drum roll - 'freeview'. Yes, anyone who can work that interweb can watch the manager squirmingly fail to explain Town's indifferent performances for free. The masochism strategy to keeping your job - Woods has noticed the calendar will turn to October next week. He must have shuddered.

It was a mistake because Woods has drifted from disarmingly candid honesty to repetitive hangdog drone. He's picked his squad, made his mistakes and is having to live with them. Colgans's elbow is no more mentioned in either interview than Colgan's name. They've forgotten about him - a sure sign that his playing future at Town has been mentally written off. Woods has been startled by the height of the opposition - he's six foot, he says, and everyone on the other team is always bigger than him. A painfully naïve admission, but he seems to have quickly become inured. We haven't.

Asked about signing a midfielder to freshen up his options (or put more plainly to add some height, pace and creativity), his instant response is: "Possibly." Possibly! Not abso-blooming-lutely - the forwards never get the ball to feet, are starved of service and support, and the defence looks wobbly because our midfield provides inadequate protection. No, "possibly" is all we get.

Asked about how the signing of Danny Carlton would affect the team, Woods admits that his intention was to drop Peacock back to prop up the midfield. I say "was" because Peacock has a sore throat and head cold and is doubtful to play. And Dave Moore knows it is real because Mr Moore is sniffling too. He sniffles as he explains that, but doesn't sniffle elsewhere in the interview. Has the malaise at the club spread so far that even iron-man Moore is letting a sniffle get him down?

Carlton must be really match-fit - if you add it up he's had a whole hour of football this season. He's only 26 but his respectable goals-to-games ratio was formed aeons ago and has slid inexorably down since then. He had it, then he seemed to lose it. OK, a nasty achilles injury didn't help. But will he radically and immediately improve a side playing with less confidence and cohesion game by game? Since leaving Morecambe his speciality has been impact sub who doesn't score. You decide, gentle reader, you decide.

But hey, let's cheer up, folks - we are playing the bottom team tomorrow! Why, Altrincham have lost once more at home than even we have! People were saying how our start to the season had involved playing mostly teams from the top tier of the division. The big boys. But I notice that after tomorrow we will have played three of the bottom four (looking at the table as it is today). And Woodses has stirred the hornets' nest by insensitively remarking that none of the Gateshead team would get in the Grimsby side before watching his players completely fail to impose their 'superior ability' on the match that followed. The Altrincham few didn't take kindly to that, I'm told, never mind the Gateshead fewer.

I thought Woods was a nice bloke but he won't make new Conference friends talking that tosh in public. I'm afraid for him, very afraid. Michael Twiss can go out on loan, says the acting Altrincham manager Mr McKenna. He might just be the midfielder we need (especially if we temporarily change the club address to North East Lancashire as he's a home boy). Short of match fitness - which is why he's available. But that's how we like them isn't it? See yer.