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Diary - Thursday 16 September 2010

16 September 2010

It was like watching Town play at a park. The park being disappointingly jumpy beneath a patterned turf. For Town it was no walk in the Lambs' park. No, Town were as subdued as a cider-swilling bench dweller, momentarily coming to life in the first half after the Lambs' sloppy bite, before slowly retreating back to their bench sulking, Gobern doing this quite literally. Never has this reserve-team diarist seen a 'winger' leave the pitch so slowly, especially while losing, and losing at Tamworth. It was this Reserve Team Diarist's first away game this season, and consequently the first in the Conference Premier. I know, I know - it was five days ago, but I'm still going to talk about it. Not the performance, of course - it was limp, but no surprise; we're used to that happening sometimes, or quite a lot, by now.

But this was definitely a non-League ground. The pitch flattered to deceive, sloping toward the centre circle, which is not good for drainage - knowledge that a young diarist picked up from a proud groundsman on a '90s tour of Blundell Park, gazing from the dugout at the practically Himalayan peak at the centre spot. So, dodgy pitch, looked good but sloped all wrong and the ball bounced about far too much for our lads. That's what they say about Wembley as well though. Oh, but there was no bar in the away end, not too surprising, and according to a steward only closed that week. No roof either, but neither has the Lower Findus. Well, this Conference business seems just fine. Settled in nicely. True, there is a bloke in a lamb's head in full Tamworth strip dancing around the pitch, but then we used to have Mini Mariner, the boy fisherman in his yellow overalls, so it's fine - mascots are a funny lot and we all know that. You can smoke in public next to the stewards but then... actually no, no, hang on, that's not normal, not any more, what is the lawless place? Laws aren't the same out of the League anyway: handballs don't count, linesmen don't look, and so on and so on.

Anyway, it's done. It mattered not what happened: the headlines were always going to feature a "silenced by" or "silencing of" the Lambs. Unfortunately, as soon as the Lambs were ahead it was always to be the former. Why is that lambs are now associated with a cannibalistic film rather than meadows and the springtime these days? And how many games a season does Tamworth have to endure that lazy headline? Speaking of lazy headlines - to the news.

The youthers are out of their cup, in what sounds like a terrific game, for the last ten minutes at the very least. It also sounds like a very Grimsby game. After 82 minutes Town scored through Jack Bradbury. Unfortunately the lead was short-lived as Walsall converted a penalty just before 90 minutes and then won it in stoppage time, so we will have to wait another season at least for glory in this Floodlit Cup. Unlucky, youthers. Could be worse though - at least you're not in the first team. And neither is manager Robbie Stockdale, which the Telewag explains in a typically long, drawn-out midweek report on how Stockdale feels about retiring from first-team duties, he enjoys the role as youth team coach and loves the area. This Reserve Team Diarist likes Stockdale, all the way back to his Middlesbrough days - all the best against Notts County on Saturday, Robbie. The Myspace Mariners under-11s lost to Rotherham but were avenged by the under-13s, who recorded a 7-0 victory. I'll not go through all the results but the Telewag of course does.

Scott Garner has taken his turn at Tell The Telegraph We've Not Been The Best Lately But We'll Get Better Now, Honest even before his full first-team debut. Garner concedes we were shit against Tamworth, slow start, need to start brighter, yer, yer, yer. Garner is looking forward to his almost certain debut against Fleetwood on Saturday - and so we are we Scott: we've all heard good things.

Here's an email to the Diary from Dave Bell:

"Do we have the best official club website in the UK? I think so. I was at work on Saturday so I couldn't get to Tamworth. I did get texts from a friend at the game though.

"When I got home from work I went onto the OS to read their match report to see how we played and stuff. Not only did they have a decent match report up - they also had video highlights of the game. I am writing this because I know how much you like to knock the club's website and I though I'd perhaps try to enlighten you a bit. My son plays for the School of Excellence so I went on the OS on Sunday to see how the youth team had done. Again the OS was on the ball and had a summary of their game against Hull City. This same summary was copied by the Grimsby Telegraph the next day and was mentioned on your website on Monday. Can you think of a club website which has highlights of a game soon after the full-time whistle? It would be nice for you to give credit where it is due sometimes."

Thanks, Dave. We felt compelled to include your email. A glowing report of the SNOS is rare here at CA and it's always good to hear a different opinion. I don't think on the basis of one professional performance we can call the OS the best club website in the UK; however, we have all been guilty of getting carried away with Town performances in the past. Hopefully the SNOS can build on this good performance. You never know - we could have an award-winning programme and an award-winning website one day. Maybe we should stop all this first team football nonsense at which we are clearly inept and invest all our resources into the media outlets of the club. Just a thought John. See yer.