Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 7 September 2010

7 September 2010

Idle Diary writes: In 1994 some things I loved: hair mousse; Katie Hall; the Beautiful South; Dave Gilbert; Janine Turner; and freshly made bread, which was a rare, almost exotic scent in my younger days, packed away at some boarding school in deepest, darkest Louth. At some point a love leaves you. It always will. It deserts you, it betrays you. But you move on, a little scarred, but you move on.

I lost my curtains haircut and the need for sculpting mousse in '94. Katie dumped me in 1996. The 'Sarf went all shit after Blue is the Colour. Gilbert was in court a couple of years back for, well, you know, being a bit of a biffa. Today I found out Janine Turner is massive Palinist (Sarah, not Michael) - which taints my loving recollections of Northern Exposure. And, so - finally at the end of this over-elongated introduction, comes the crap pun segue to the football - news that Town are giving Bakary Bojang a go, a player who I hope doesn't wreck the last bastion of my lower-sixth loves.

Not that the Bojang is without love, a believer that black women are sexy. The lad seems to lack consistency and features in a YouTube compilation video that features empty Danish stadiums and comic book diagonal framing that wouldn't look out of place in one of the increasingly camp Joel Schumacher Batman movies. LOOK! HE WON A CORNER! Yeah, it's probably something his agent put up there, and I'm sure John Gregory wouldn't agree (Bosko Balaban innit), but it's nice to see video of these mysterious trialists in action, don't you think?

Also being checked out is Michael Burns, "the type of player we are looking for," reckons Neil Woods. Given how much Woods has stressed, and stressed and then emphasised the need for this kind of player, here's hoping the Town manager has unearthed a gem, even if it is a rough diamond. Woods won't be continuing to pursue ex-Manchester United midfielder Sam Hewson, by the way, citing the player's lack of fitness.

So, to today's regular round-up of ex-Town players in the Grimmo Telegraph drops by Ryan Bennett and Danny Boshell. Barry Fry, a man who is to football what Max Clifford is to public relations, reveals ambiguously that Posh turned down a million-quid bid from "Kevin Blackwell when he was manager at Sheffield United". Fry, too busy largin' up Bennett's value, fails to reveal if Bennett was to be employed as a player for the Blades or as Blackwell's personal assistant. Never mind, eh. The Mighty Bosh, however, has decided to rock up at Guiseley, which is just across the River Aire valley for this diarist. Might have to pop over there some time soon, as indeed a jaunt to Macca to see whatever number twos do in non-League circles.

I've not even bothered checking the official Town site. They'll have copied and pasted something from the Tellywag anyway.

So, time to leave you, to leave you nice, with a letter to the local rag asking "Why do scroungers get more than me?", complete with a typically judgemental comment from the the Mail-funded Telegraph: "the work ethic in a portion of society simply does not exist". Spare a thought for the paper's staff, certainly not devoid of work ethic, working their socks off while living under the continual fear of the next axe swinging. If it wasn't for those folk, this diarist wouldn't bother looking at the right-leaning rag's website on a daily basis and would be happy just looking at the cribbed copy on the SNOS. Make a few more editors and publishers redundant and see how their values, ideals, and fortunes fare on the dole. You'll have to slum it, work your way back up. Just like Town.