Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 26 January 2011

26 January 2011

Why can't Town play like that for 90 minutes, instead of just 45 or 60? Why did the summariser on Premier Sports call for "technology" to settle disputed goals when Premier Sports' own technology couldn't settle Luton's? Why is anyone surprised that George 'Let's Build An Economy Like Ireland's' Osborne and his spiteful cuts to jobs and public services have sent the economy back into reverse? Tuesday was a day that threw up more questions than answers, but it wasn't all bad. Last night at Kenilworth Road the Mariners seemed simply to be outplayed by a better team for the first half of the game. After half time, though, Neil Woodses's players showed outstanding determination and came within inches of taking a point from statistically the toughest away venue in the Conference. Best of all, Alan Connell's delightful dipping shot which beat Mark Tyler, only to sail inches too high and bounce off the back of the goal, gave us all an excuse to use the word 'stanchion'.

Also, is it just your original/regular Diary, or has Kenny Arthur just given possibly his best two performances in a Town shirt so far?

Strapping Mansfield frontman Rob Duffy, who turned down a move to Blundell Park last week after failing to agree personal terms, looks set for a move to Neath of the Welsh Premier League. Gasp! On the face of it, this looks like the sort of development that's certain to ignite the wrath of the messageboards. But Neath have a mysterious pot of cash and have been described as "the Man City of the WPL". So before we start off with booo Fenty booo, penny pinching cheap option etc etc and so on, let's bear in mind that prolific former £1m striker Lee Trundle turned down a number of Football League clubs to join them last year for a reported £2,500 a week. On the other hand, if Neath have so much money to spend, some might pause to ask why they chose to spend some of it on signing failed GTFC forward Chris Jones.

The Diary notes that in the absence of anything more interesting to do, Team Cod Almighty member Pete Green has landed a question about GTFC into this week's edition of The Knowledge (scroll down to the bottom). The question contrasts Blundell Park's record low attendance of 1,833 in May 1969 with the 22,489 glory-hunters who showed up for the fourth division title game against Exeter three years later. "The crowd had become more than 12 times bigger in three years," points out PG. "Can any other full-time English club claim such a steep surge in support?"

Well, with any luck we'll find out in The Knowledge next week. But let's also remember 1998, when 35,000 Town fans attended the Football League Trophy victory over Bournemouth at Wembley in April. Six weeks later 25,000 went back for the promotion play-off final win over Northampton. In August of the same year fewer than 3,000 home fans watched a League Cup tie against Preston at Blundell Park. So the Mariners' fanbase has also become 12 times smaller in little more than three months.

Overnight the CA inbox has been positively throbbing. We haven't had this much email since you helped me with the Radio Times big Christmas crossword in 2004. And what's the subject that's gripped the Grimbarian nation? That's right - Boyes! Idle Diary's reference to the legendary sub-Woolworths chain of discount haberdashery and fancy goods stores has got your keyboards tapping like a News of the World reporter with the PIN for a royal's voicemail. So just how far does the Boyes empire stretch? "Far from it for me to be pedantic but I would have thought that Boyes' most easterly store is Cleethorpes high street," writes Ben Gresswell. "Unless of course they have opened in Belgium?" I wouldn't rule it out. Ben also points out Louth - as does Martin Robinson: "Can't beat Louth on a Wednesday - market day, and it's got a Boyes!"

David Robertson, Chris Ward and Richard Whitehouse, meanwhile, strive gamely to establish the northernmost and westernmost limits of Boyes' dominions. Richard Whitehouse, "a Mariner exile located in Teesside", observes that "Boyes have a significant presence up here, which last time I checked, was further north than Scarborough. Boyes have stores in Middlesbrough, Billingham and Yarm (the latter a touch surprising considering it was voted best high street in the UK by the BBC and likes to think it is a cut above the rest of the area... the list of Premiership football managers and England managers that have lived here is testament to this). Of those three Billingham is the most northern; however, I suspect that their empire may spread even further afield. Hartlepool? Sunderland?"

"There is a Boyes store in Yarm, which is just a couple of miles south of Stockton on Tees. I believe there is one in Middlesbrough," writes Chris. David, clearly a huge aficionado of the stores, adds: "I've had the delight of shopping in Boyes in Whitby, Barnard Castle, Darlington, Stockton and Billingham. Billingham is most northerly and Barnard Castle may be more westerly than Bradford - haven't got my OS grid references out to check though! Surely easier to check on t'internet! Chester le Street seems furthest north; must be the worst store with it being full of Mackems."

So there you have it, readers - and that's all from the Diary today. We may support a football team whose status in senior football has disappeared quicker than Vince Cable's credibility. But at least if we want to buy cheap light bulbs, scraps of chocolate brown woven cotton fabric, and green translucent toy guns that fire ping-pong balls, we know exactly where to look.