Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Wednesday 9 February 2011
9 February 2011
He looked a great signing last summer. Fans of his old club were up in arms about his departure for Blundell Park. In the pre-season friendlies he seemed more able and assured than other, more experienced players in his position. During one or two excited moments there was even talk of the new Ryan Bennett. But despite the inability of Town's first-choice central defenders to keep a clean sheet, Scott Garner has found it a tough task to break into the team. And now he's off out on loan until the end of the season to Alfreton Town of the Conference North. Your original/regular Diary will not be the only fan hoping the Mariners can get the best out of Garner next year, perhaps after Rob Atkinson has done one to Rotherham or wherever he's supposed to be going. In the meantime it's just a shame Neil Woodses couldn't have found a slightly less capable player to lend to Alfreton, by way of proper repayment to their manager Nicky Law for all the great service he gave to Grimsby Town Football Club.
The official Twitter thing for Town's matchday programme, meanwhile (well worth a follow, if Twitter is your thing), describes the Garner loan as a "win-win situation for all concerned". This is an example of tautology, or the redundant use of an adjective to suggest something that's already implicit. Other well-known examples include "PIN number", "added bonus", and "miserable Grimsby Town fan".
Sorry this diary is dead late, by the way. Baby Diary has chickenpox and the house is a minefield of cotton wool and calamine lotion.
Part of the reason Town's defence has struggled lately, of course, has been the absence through injury of Lee Ridley - just as he was really starting to look the part. After trying and failing to plug the round hole left by Ridley with a variety of square pegs, GTFC have at last given up and taken Lincoln City left-back Joe Anderson on trial. A 21-year-old product of the Fulham academy, the player made 24 appearances for the Imps on loan last season but has led a Scott Garner-like existence on the periphery since the move became 'permanent' last summer. We assume he's on trial, anyway; Town's superb new official website states merely that Anderson is "training with the Mariners". Granted, there wouldn't be much point him training with the Mariners if there were no chance of an actual game of football. But for all the SNOS tells us, it might just be that Anderson fancied a few days by the sea, or has a complexion well suited to black and white.
Anderson doesn't seem to be playing for the reserves at Hartlepool tonight, for what that's worth. But titchy young wing maestro Josh Fuller is - so we'll soon discover the benefits of a few weeks' loan at Spalding.
There's talk of another fixture rearrangement, this time with the home game against Tamworth, scheduled for Saturday 26 March. But it looks like it won't happen. There's some kind of England game on the same day. And why would you support your home-town club when you can have the piss taken out of you by a group of fat, tax-dodging millionaires pretending they give a shit about representing their country at football? So Town were on about bringing it forward to the Friday night. But Tamworth reckon we can't because it's on the pools coupons, or something. So it'll probably stay as it was. At the time of writing, Town haven't mentioned the bit about the fixture can't be rearranged after all, because they feel a bit silly now for having brought it up in the first place.
Three of you have emailed in response to Mardy Diary's tirade on Monday against the inanity of televised football - and in particular to his suggestion that we do away with commentators and pundits. "Excellent piece," writes Phil Watson. "What you suggest is precisely the one thing that could get me to start watching football on TV again. With all the spare broadcast capacity these days, why isn't there even an option to take just the game with the crowd noise, and no babble? If you found yourself at a match sitting next to someone who prattled like John Motson you'd contact the nearest steward and ask to change your seat, wouldn't you?" Peter Hopgood says that just such a choice is, in fact, available: "I find that when I have the option on interactive TV I really enjoy and actually follow the match more when I choose the 'crowd' alternative as the soundtrack. You benefit from all the replays and slow-mos but without the crap. Wish they had that option for all matches."
Richard Lord, meanwhile, has compared present with past, and found present wanting. "Back in the day, when VHS ruled the roost, I used to record the odd episode of Match of the Day and not have the heart to record over it once I'd watched it. This has led me to own a few videos full of top-flight football from the early 90s, and so I thought I'd delve into my accidental vault to analyse the punditry. There was Des Lynam - smooth, suave, slightly unhinged but likeable. On the panel were Trevor Brooking and a fresh-faced, serious-looking Gary Lineker with a surprisingly insightful and intelligent analysis of William Prunier's debut for Man Utd in December 1995. It was only after watching this video, in conjunction with Monday's Mardy Diary, that has led me also to believe that modern-day punditry is shit. Apart from Lee Dixon - I think he's alright. I'll forgive him for being friends with that mumbling, bumbling, unco-ordinated, squashed-faced West Brom-supporting, Croatian-loving twat Adrian Chiles."
I feel a bit sorry for Adrian Chiles, personally, but then I do have a soft spot for West Brom. That's all for today, so thanks for reading. And if you're still at a loose end check out this superb piece by Ian Plenderleith about the Premier League and its' minions mission to erase the history of football before 1992. Ta-ra!