Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Wednesday 6 April 2011
6 April 2011
As conclusions go, of course, the winner of Town's next player of the year award is as foregone as the Liberal Democrats' meltdown at next month's local elections. Nevertheless, the club is going through the formalities with some eagerness this season after cancelling last year's awards night on account of absolutely everyone being completely shit. The 2011 ceremony will take place on Tuesday 26 April at Blundell Park's high-class McMenemy's suite and you can vote now using a page on Town's superb new official website that looks like it was designed in 1996. "The favourite... is likely to be 24-goal top scorer Alan Connell," declares the Grimsby Telegraph with admirable understatement. Interestingly, your original/regular Diary's calculations show that if the player of the year award were determined using the alternative vote system, the outcome would be exactly the same, except 0.018 per cent less unfair.
"A YOUNG Grimsby Town reserve side were beaten 3-0 at local rivals Lincoln City this evening," reported the SNOS yesterday, as if most Grimsby Town reserve sides are usually brimming with age and experience. "Michael Leary was not given permission by doctors to play the match," adds the site, shortly before including Leary's name in the starting line-up given at the bottom of the page and adding that he was substituted by Liam Dickens after 76 minutes. So, GTFC's reserve team and superb new official website both remaining true to form there.
Speaking of reserve sides and whatnot, CA has heard from our highly impressive, top-secret and very intriguing sources from within the game - oh, alright, we read it on Twitter - that HotPob have this week been to watch a match involving Plucky Scunny's second XI. Let's hope they unearthed a rough diamond or two to prise from the grip of new Plucky Scunny manager Alan 'Nil' Knill, because it's not like the Mariners need any tips on how to lose a reserve game against Gateshead.
Today's episode of Tell The Telegraph We've Not Been The Best Lately But We'll Get Better Soon, Honest comes from club captain Lee Peacock. Before you sigh in despair and hurl your computer violently through the nearest window, though, spare a thought for lonely Peaks, who has just moved his wife and children down to Portsmouth. "That was because I was told [by a previous GTFC manager, Neil Woods] I wasn't getting a new deal and I wasn't going to keep my house in the area and pay rent through the summer if I wasn't going to be here. That may change now the manager has."
The Telewag, unfortunately, doesn't go on to explain whether the Peacock family has an existing property in Portsmouth and Lee is currently crashing on Rob Duffy's sofa, or whether Mrs Peacock and the children - like many other residents of Grimsby in recent times - just couldn't bear watching the Mariners any longer and did one to the south coast to get as far away as possible. But given Deadly John (Topcon)'s record of hiring and firing, you'd think Lee would know better than to think his time at GTFC was necessarily up just because a new contract wasn't forthcoming from whoever happened to be the manager that month.
Finally, let's have a look at your emails, readers. As you know, you are all invited to comment on anything in the Diary by emailing diary@codalmighty.com. Antony Chapman has done just that by suggesting some alternatives to the term HotPob, used by the Diary as clumsy shorthand for the two Angry Young Men who have currently taken a short-term lease in Town's managerial dug-out. "How about Scurst, or Shurtt," offers Antony, "or perhaps more appropriately Hurtt?" Thankyou, AC - I like all of those - but I'm also wondering now about individual Spice Girls-style nicknames for the two. Shouty and Shorty seems a good bet to me, and it will save me having to learn which of their real names applies to which man. Because let's face it, it's hardly worth bothering just for the seven or eight months it will take Fenty to sack them.
We sign off today with a chucklesome link from Matt Pakes about that terrible Rooney business. Thanks Matt, thankyou all for reading, and bye for now.