Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Friday 20 May 2011
20 May 2011
"We are a million miles away from being able to say anything positive." Your Guest Diarist has enclosed Mr Fenty's quote from yesterday in speech marks because of the Grimsby Town chairman's earlier lecture on the subject which was broadcast within a "tough" interview conducted with him by club media man Dale Ladson following shouty messageboard outrage at the chairman's recent newspaper rantings.
Fenty had explained that articles in the Grimsby Telegraph were not attributable to him unless the words were contained in speech marks. When those pesky journalists analyse what he has actually said and then produce newsworthy headlines to précis his sentiments, well, that's nothing to do with him, he believes. Gentle reader, it is obvious that the man fails to analyse his own output, before he makes it, to avoid unintended consequences. And when very poorly chosen words come back to haunt him he gets very angry indeed (Fenty is no Ken Clarke, who at least has his jazz knowledge and a sense of humour to fall back on).
So when the Town chairman said in a newspaper interview that Grimsby's recent signings were a disastrous mistake he didn't mean anything more than to complain that the club's decision-making processes to determine the suitability of new signings were inadequate, apparently. He wasn't having a final dig at the guy who signed them, who had stuck out for a contractual settlement after being fired and got it. He didn't mean to imply that the players were effectively worthless, and his public anguish about their capabilities was not a warning to other clubs not to touch them with a bargepole due to injury problems and perceived general rubbishness at playing professional football.
No, Fenty hastened to add yesterday, they might be good players after all! But why, you ask, is the chairman a million miles away from being able to say anything positive? Why, when he has two exciting new friends who are mad keen to change everything and make stuff good? They want different players, a different office and a different way to operate the second string. And a club linesman who knows what he is doing for when we play exhibition matches (I know it sounds expensive but we can't work with amateurs any longer). Fenty is utterly convinced that next season is going to be a good season - success is in our sights.
Don't you worry your heads, faithful season ticket holders: there'll be no massively discounted or free match days at the end of next season because we are going to be a successful team again. No, season tickets won't be cheaper, and, no, I can't guarantee there won't be individual match offers that mean your season ticket was hardly worth buying. But these new chaps are bound to succeed with our cunning new plan, as hinted at by the chairman, to base our game on that played last season by the bottom six in the division. Never mind the quality, feel the aggression. You'll just smell it - like napalm in the morning.
That 'million miles' quote? It's a new stadium that Fenty refers to in this instance. Well, I think that's what he meant, unless someone howls on a messageboard, in which case it might turn out to be something completely different. He's still working on plans for a Fentydome, of course - being a local politician as well it's always wise to maintain a diary full of pointless meetings where one can harrumph about academic compulsory purchase orders and the need for the council to support the "community asset" that is GTFC. Fenty was answering questions from the fans on a limited subscription-only video channel. Anyone could ask a question but you have to pay to hear the reply - a tactic Fenty is thinking of trying out with the council customer services, I'm told.
I hope Mike Parker has subscribed to Mariners Player because it would appear that is the only way the would-be-bigger investor gets to hear the TopCon's dulcet tones. Mr Fenty thinks Mr Parker is buying another £350,000 of shares. He hopes he'll see him in the board room afterwards, even if only as a major shareholder, not a board member. So consider yourself invited Mike. But note I didn't use any quotation marks in this paragraph so it might be a different truth I'm telling you as regards your welcome. Fenty needs your cash because he explained in a direct answer to a fan's question that there will be a shortfall of at least £800,000 next season - maybe nearer a million with the inevitable squad churn and the fact that the chairman has built the budget assuming that Town will average three thousand through the gates next season. What, I suspect, he doesn't need is competition from you with your aggravating common sense and pesky good ideas and that. See yer.