Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 5 May 2011

5 May 2011

Well, what a start to the close season. Axe wielding, axe swinging and squad culling have left futures in the balance at Blundell Park. Sounds like a bloodbath down there, best to avoid, as usual. Shorty and Shouty have got their hands on Deadly John (Topcon)'s axe and are causing carnage. Of course it's not a real axe, we all know it's not a real axe, it's just a way to add a bit of interest to a familiar story about a few, well several, employees being politely told that their company won't be continuing to pay them beyond their fixed-term contract, due to a change in company direction. "Employees' contracts not extended due to failure to meet targets and Tory cuts" just doesn't invoke the senses. We want axes, culling and mohawks strewn around the ground. It's like The Last of the Mohicans in black and white and with less passing. Yeah.

So we're going to have another team's worth of new players. Your Part-Time Diary is looking forward to spending another summer searching for players I've never heard of on Wikipedia to find out how many goals they did or didn't score during the 19 games they played for Exeter in 2005. Then checking what they've done subsequently to make a completely improbable assumption on how incredible or shit they may be if they sign for Grimsby. Which they invariably don't, choosing instead to sign for Exeter, again, mainly because it's not situated in Cleethorpes. I used to enjoy the transfer window in the summer, following the rumours and potential targets, but that was when I knew the players we might be signing and when it was just a few additions to a squad, not a whole new squad, again.

So who will we get this time? I wouldn't even be able to guess, short of saying we might get a couple in from Boston. Will we even get better players? The theory of releasing your weaker players and replacing them with better players is brilliant: a surefire way to improve. Worst players out and better players in will eventually make a better team. Grimsby have tested that theory several times and the results have been less than impressive. Does this mean that maybe you could build a better team by keeping players together over a few seasons, maybe with the same manager in charge so they can build a unity, so they understand each other's games, play for each other and for the club, and then they might even manage to pass to each other properly? Or have I just been watching too much of the European Cup?

There's not much in the way of news today. There's probably not going to be much happening for a bit until all the other clubs wield and swing their respective metaphorical axes and there's a pool of bloodied, unwanted players to sign up. And there've not been any friendlies announced, as the proper league hasn't even finished yet. So we'll leave it there. We've all got more important things to be doing today anyway, so I'm going to go to a Salvation Army building to vote. I imagine John Fenty (Topcon) is in turmoil today: will he back his Tory brothers or will he just get that urge to vote for change? You know he loves a bit of change.