Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Wednesday 1 June 2011
1 June 2011
Charged with interpreting the GTFC universe to our readers five days a week, the Diary understands how tough it can be to fill a empty news space when nothing's going on. Especially through the long void of May and June, as managers and players fly off to generic Mediterranean resorts and agents count down the weeks until contracts expire. That's why your original/regular Diary said last week on the Cod Almighty Twitter thing that we couldn't blame the Grimsby Telegraph for not having anything to report. We did add, however, that we could blame them for reporting on Ben Futcher's contract situation at Bury while they seemed to be ignoring the news that Town had sacked their entire scouting team.
One of our readers replied that the Telewag's reluctance to mention this news may have stemmed from its apparent fear of upsetting the club hierarchy. Like many football chairmen, Deadly John (Topcon) seems to see the local media not so much as journalists, more as a free PR and marketing service for his club. When they deviate from the party line, as we have seen, John becomes sometimes hysterical, sometimes bullying, sometimes litigious, always undignified, and always preposterous. But it seems to do the job. Let's not forget the Grimsby Telegraph's outright failure to ask why GTFC's sponsorship from Jarvis came to an end less than one year into a three-year deal: an abject and entirely scandalous dereliction of its journalistic duties.
Six days later the Telewag has come good. Ladies and gentlemen, we have coverage. Shorty and Shouty are to become more closely involved with the scouting system than their many recent predecessors and "the club will be working in tandem with digital company Scout 7", which would seem to imply the use of, ooooh, computers, but, it must be stressed, is not in any way whatsoever anything at all like playing Championship Manager.
So is the Riby Square Thunderer back to its hard-hitting investigative best? "It is believed that partnership will cost several thousand pounds and more than under the former system," says the paper. Believed by who? It either will or it won't, the Telegraph, and it's your job to find out instead of hiding behind passive verb constructions. And what is it that this Scout 7 system is replacing? Have all the old scouts really been sacked? Well, no. Not sacked. That would imply something bad, and we can't have that. No. "Chief scout Dave McNish and several others, including former Mariner Tony Ford," haven't been sacked Â- they've been "relieved of their roles". Relieved. What a lovely relief for them. Awww.
If the Telegraph wants something else to report in another six days' time, there's the not wholly unnoteworthy relevation that Town are to play a game against the oldest football club in the world. On Monday of this week Sheffield FC announced that they'd be facing the Mariners at their Coach & Horses ground on the evening of Wednesday 30 July and nobody seems to have batted an eyelid yet. Now the Cod Almighty team may be disproportionately excited at this, some of us having gone along to watch Sheffield play their neighbours Hallam a few years back and had a fine old time of it. And, OK, some sort of glitch in Town's otherwise superb new official website seems to have prevented the news appearing there thus far. But c'mon, the Telegraph! Come on! The OLDEST CLUB IN THE WORLD!
Oh well. Thanks for reading, and if you don't already follow the Cod Almighty Twitter thing, I strongly recommend you start now. For today's last word we go to Matt Pakes, who has emailed the Diary to revisit that recent observation from Shorty and Shouty Â- to intriguing effect. Cheers, Matt, and goodbye to you all for now.
"What with football not being a computer game, I guess I shouldn't take as much hope from Football Manager as I currently do.
"In my current game, I'm managing Droylsden, but this isn't the important bit. Grimsby Town are. Their first season with NW in charge, they finished 8th, sacked NW and brought in some other obscure chap (not Shorty and Shouty). The next season, after almost no important signings, they stormed to the top of the Conference by 10 points and were promoted in a blaze of glory (bus parades etc). The club was also taken over by a new chairman around January time. Now if that doesn't mean that this is the season for the real Grimsby, I don't know what is. Time to place a bet on my local generic betting website.
"Oh wait, it's not like a computer game. Bugger."