Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 26 July 2011

26 July 2011

Hello to you all - it's West Yorkshire Diary here, typing today's news live from a public car park in Leeds to show I'm young, hip and down with the kids. They love crazy spontaneity, those teenagers. I feel like a newsreader announcing the headlines live from outside Westminster when I'd normally be sat behind a desk. On a scale of one to ten, I'm very important right now.

Following the release of Captain Peacock the Mariners have filled the tattoo void by signing Anthony Elding from Rochdale for a fee that will remain disclosed for as long as it takes someone 'in the know' to tell everyone else on a messageboard, or until the next fans' forum. It appears Elding's reputation precedes him as he's the first lazy player Shouty and Shorty have signed this summer. Aware that tongues were wagging of his alleged footballing indolence, their interview on Mariners Player is a bit too keen to counteract those claims by asking leading questions about his work rate. And they might have got away with it had the video not been edited to show Elding standing around with his hands down his shorts and yawning at the exact moment Shorty waxed lyrical about his hunger and commitment.

It would seem that Elding was on the brink of signing for fourth division Plymouth late last week but did a u-turn after presumably speaking with Martin Butler and learning that commuting from his Lincolnshire home to Devon wouldn't be a good idea. Elding says he's sick of travelling around and wants to settle down at Blundell Park, so Town have given him a one-year deal with an asterisk. He could have got a League club, and once knocked in goals for fun in the Conference for Stevenage, so there's 'summat about him', as they say.

I got a blank expression from a Leeds fan in the office yesterday upon mentioning Elding's name, but a Stevenage fan seems to think we have a gem, albeit with the words 'if' and 'but only' used a lot in the sentences that followed. A Rochdale fan (yes, my workplace is very diverse) reckons Keith Hill is the best man-manager he has ever known and even he didn't get anything out of Elding. So then, big ifs loom ominously over whether our managerial duo can get him to perform. However, if you're a Conference defender, you wouldn't relish lining up against Elding, Hearn and Spencer - unless you actually like elbows, of course.

Team news now, and the SNOS reports that Town will be fielding a first-team squad at Winterton tonight, kick-off 7:30pm. No-one mention 12-1 or Mike Newell. Spencer is injured and Kempson won't be risked, while the Telewag reports that Pearson has one of those hamstring injuries that actually makes your back hurt, so he probably won't feature. The managers have vowed to play the first team in tomorrow's kickabout with Barton too. It's the start of a crazy five-day period in which the squad will play four times, with Doncaster and Gainsborough to come on Friday and Saturday respectively.

I can never determine whether I like pre-season or not. I can't really do with these namby-pamby, tippy-tappy friendlies, but at the same time I'm aware that this is about as excited and optimistic as I'm likely to get about my football club for at least 11 months. Right now nothing can hurt me - not even a 5-1 defeat at Barnsley, because they're a second division club with really good players and we've finally accepted we're shit, so relatively speaking it was a good result.

I'm quite happy with where we are in terms of our season's preparations. We have assembled a different sort of squad to what we're used to, and things in central midfield look a lot more positive (if we choose to use it). Arthur has genuine competition, we have cover in just about every position and we have a handful of players for whom the Conference represents a step up and a bigger shop window. And Fenty hasn't said anything for a week now!