Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 1 July 2011

1 July 2011

Guest Diary writes: In every dream home a heartache. The sun is shining, the players have come back without spare tyres and are lapping happily, the group is forming. And another piece of the jigsaw was put in place yesterday with the signing on a one-year contract of Anthony Church. But there's still something missing; something, apparently, which may rain on the parade of Shorty and Shouty.

And that's why the club has issued a cryptic yet urgent appeal to the taxi drivers of Grimsby. Only they have the knowledge. Heed well, ye licensed hackney drivers: come forward and deliver unto the club that which they so badly need. Whatever it is, there's only one way to find out.

The Mariners Player camera has been lingering long and often this week on the bare torso of Mr Kempson, who has staged his own one-man strike and refused to wear a training top. Interviews have been broadcast to the background of monotonous steady lapping and shuttling. Two of the players integral to the remake/remodel exercise have chatted to Dale, who has his first identikit interview questions down pat. Church is voluble, explaining that, although he is not football mad, he remembered just in time that he used to want to be a footballer. So he's become one despite the attractions of, erm, banking. Disley, whose very name programmes my mental jukebox for at least half an hour, expressed more than once his discomfort at being a new boy.

Both players talked box to box and emphasised scoring goals. Church was big on passion like Pearson had been big on clean sheets. Whereas Liam Hearn talked about realising a dream to play "in such a big stadium", Anthony exuded a lot more inner confidence because he knows he has his degree from Loughborough to fall back upon. The 'each graduate vacancy averaging 83 applicants' article appears to have passed him by.

Those untrustworthy Hully-Gullies have broken their promise to play Town in a friendly with all proceeds to go to the Town youth. They've had a better offer from Liverpool and accepted it with alacrity, leaving the Town bosses scrabbling to organise a replacement.

And how can we end this week of signings and training and sunshine without more news from Town financial statistician Steve Wraith? He has told the Telegraph that Town have sold slightly south of 550 season tickets and over 800 replica shirts this pre-season. See how I casually dropped into financial speak with that 'slightly south' expression?

But it's amazing how stoic the folk of Grimsby are: inflict everlasting pain and they still come back for more. Despite every goddess a let-down, every idol a bring-down, their predilection just goes on and on. It might be a bit different this time though, with several signings stepping up to full-time football for the first time with something to prove. Just give me your future, we'll forget your past. See yer.