Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 9 November 2011

9 November 2011

Hello!! It's Noddy here!! I am very happy to write today's diary!! I am a very busy toy at the moment. Running a football club isn't as easy as I thought. Big Ears said it would be a piece of cake, but Big Ears is always thinking about food!! He was supposed to help me but he has gone into Toyland to buy some honey and a pair of extra large earmuffs!! I am not so good with spellings. He reads dictionaries in bed!!

Our fans are being quite naughty at the moment. They shout a lot and say nasty things. They're saying that Big Ears must have got his ears from a massive ear sale and things like that. One man said my lovely blue hat with the bell on was really gay. I thought it was a nice thing but Tessie Bear says it means I like boys. But I do!! Girls are smelly - apart from Tessie Bear, who always goes into the woods to do her business!! The fans have also been writing nasty things about me on computers. They think I'm only good at driving my red and yellow taxi car. But I know about football too!! I've put a lot of my money into football. I've asked Mr Plod to catch the naughty people. They won't say nasty things about me again. Who is Curly Gaddafi? Bumpy Dog is going to knock the nasty people over!! I'm already laughing and it hasn't happened yet!!

Since I've run this football club I've not been having my morning milk!! That's how hard I work. I've been thinking about a new house. No, not for me!! For the football people!! I don't know how to build houses with football pitches in them. Big Ears says he can do it. He's good at building things!! He says he can build a new football house with lots of chairs for people. It'll be a build-it-yourself football house!! But we need a place to build it and Big Ears says Toyland doesn't have room. It might have to be in the woods. I don't like the woods - there are lions out there!!

The managers say there are players who are not fit. We are giving them away for a while to make them better. One of them did really, really well against a team not far away from Toyland. He scored two goals but is a defender!! The players have wrong things inside their heads. One of the managers shouted a lot about it!! He said they need to bring their acting together otherwise he will shout more!! He is an angry man. The other one is much quieter. I sometimes let them make my head nod!! If I don't the loud one says he'll put me on a bonfire.

Anyway, I've got to go now. Big Ears says we're going to have fun in the kitchen!! I hope it's not Tessie Bear's deep fried Opal Fruits again. The silly girl forgot to take the wrappers off last time!!