Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 12 January 2012

12 January 2012

A Cod Almighty diary is nothing if not a chronicle of footballing failure. Why deviate from that successful formula when it has brought forth two number one albums and a smash hit Broadway musical starring the mustachioed maestro of mirth, Tony Rees. The spinning hologram of Peter Furneaux was cut from the final version, by the way. Opinions are not divided on that.

Thursday's Deviant Diary is about footballing failure, and it isn't us! What is there to say about Town when everything is tickety-boo, rather than boo-hoo?

Great news from the badlands of Northants! Mark Cooper is taking a training session. Hurrah, those six points still exist, as do Kettering, just. Don't get too comfortable, as the Ketterpeople are unravelling at a slightly slower pace than poor old Darlington. Darlo, Darlo, Darlo: soon to be gone. There are only so many buckets that can be passed, and rivers to cross, and flippin' Sam Russell has finally flipped, doing a Miller and deserting the Darloship as the waves crash down. Beware five days before the ides of March, for his next wondershow will be on that day. He is the fruits of Forest Green's labour. Shame we didn't nick him.

Cliff Portwood, a Town striker from the early 1960s, has died, and what a colourful life he led; no boring old publican or estate agent he. Our local ragamuffin newspaper recalls that in his Mariners days he could regularly be seen selling crockery on Freeman Street market. What a nice little recurring earner that would have provided for any entrepreneurial spirits in the Buckley-era dressing rooms. What you'd lose on the win bonus, you'd gain on the fortnightly order from Blundell Park. Our Cliff later won a radio talent contest and became a professional singer. He was big in Aussieland and performed in Las Vegas and Florida. Anthony Elding, we can see your future as a crooner on a schooner: the Bing of Blundell, the Perry of the Pontoon. Get yer lounge suit out for the lads.

And finally Dizzy Mr Disley is taking his kids to Skegness on Saturday, eschewing a meeting with the Mighty Urchins of Hornchurch. Urchins are less mighty in Skeggy: that's an Urchin Fact!