Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 15 February 2012

15 February 2012

Hey now, Grimsby Town Football Club. You've made good progress recently, on and off the pitch. But as happy as we may be to have James McKeown in our team, we're uneasy about people calling him Macca. So we're even less happy about a dining room being called Macca. There's only one Sir John McDermott, and there's only one Macca. The latter appellation must never be appended to Blundell Park's prestigious banqueting facilities until that great day when McMenemy's is renamed McDermott's.

Your original/regular Diary is not entirely surprised to see another match appended to the Shouty manager's touchline ban. The louder of our co-bosses was, you'll remember, originally handed a two-match ban for generally being a stroppy sod despite his team leading against Bath City by a margin pushing double figures. Two has now become three following another FA hearing about Shouty's misogynistic post-match rant at referee Amy Fearn. But would you change Shouty if you could? Is his misogyny like the fire in Paul Ince's belly, so that he'd lose everything that makes him an effective manager if you made him start treating women like human beings?

There's a viewpoint, of course, that Shouty's rage was justified because Fearn's performance represented some kind of spectacular new low in refereeing ineptitude. True, she had a fairly poor day. But her performance was average for the league we're in: no worse than most of the refs who've rocked up at BP in the last two or three seasons, and significantly better than many. So that's a viewpoint, in the same way that creationism, trickle-down economics, and liking Tim Lovejoy are all viewpoints. I trust no further explanation is necessary.

I was a bit bemused earlier this week to see all that kerfuffle over the postponement of the York game last Saturday. Sure, Town will lose money because of it. Tens of thousands? Really? Well, Deadly John (Topcon) knows better than me. I'm just curious as to why the former chairman feels the need to make such a song and dance about one postponement, when last winter's 'snow chaos' (© 2010-12 Daily Express) meant the club went two and a half months last winter with only two league games at Blundell Park. And if we're talking about fixture congestion, we still need an explanation from someone as to why the Conference season has to end earlier and start later than the rest. Any light to shed on that one, Councillor?

Of course, fixture congestion wouldn't be an issue if the current Mariners team simply had the decency to be as shit as most of their recent predecessors and exit every knockout tournament at the earliest available opportunity. Our opponents for this month's FA Trophy quarter-final have now been confirmed as, oh, it's York City again. And here's an email from Matt Pakes, who watched Town in the last round. "In years to come," writes Matt, "when Grimsby are good again, I'll look back with pride. When someone moans about a scraped win over Bradford or Accrington or whomever, I will have a certain smug look about me as I know I was there, in minus 9 degrees, at night, on a Tuesday, against Bath City FC, with 82 brethren (and womenen) watching Town grind a 2-1 win in the FA Trophy third round. Happy days. UTM."

Lastly today, while we're rummaging the Diary's musty inbox, here's another email, from David Elvidge. "In yet another tidying-up exercise I came across a 'commemorative cover' (ie. illustrated envelope) featuring Town's former crest and a postmark: 'Grimsby Town FC 80th Anniversary of Election to Football League 1892-1972, 22 Jan 72 Cleethorpes, Lincs'. So last month was the 120th anniversary. I wonder if any other Mariners anoraks have this historical item? In this quiet period of frozen inactivity perhaps Diary readers could come up with some other events in Town's glorious history worthy of commemorating."

Over to you, then, readers. What's missing from Cod Almighty's Brief History of Town? Email your suggestions to diary@codalmighty.com and we'll look at them next week. If you come up with anything really good we might even add it to the Brief History page. Cheers!