Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 25 May 2012

25 May 2012

Mardy Diary writes: Ah, summer. The smell of lager on pavement, the crack of fist against sick-encrusted chin, the red-chested heroes of the fleeting British summer who march proudly around with their many layers of melanoma inducing sunburn. You can't beat it. Or avoid it.

All this, of course, is my way of saying there's bugger all else to talk about. Oh, what? Right - if I must. So Fenty, barely able to contain himself in this barren close-season, has taken to the pages of the Telegraph once more to pass on his worldly wisdom to us. Today it's strikers! Strikers! More strikers! Not the ones on picket lines, no! The ones that score goals. Lots of goals. Strikers!

Yes folks, it's spending time again. And Fenty has decided that as we've released two players who scored 20 goals between them, then we really need to sign some other players who can score. No shit. Although I hate to point out the obvious, but maybe Hearn's "dry spells" were due to a lack of chances created? Maybe? Perhaps? Maybe that might be the problem? And maybe if we'd scored the same amount of goals last season but conceded less then we might have got more points? Perhaps? Is this crazy talk?

Yes! Yes it is! Buy all the strikers! The strikers! Collect them all! It's what Crawley and Fleetwood have done, and God dammit this is what football is all about. Sod the winning, it's not even a results-based business anymore. It's a spending-based business. If you don't spend then who are ya? Who are ya? You're not spending anymore. You're not spending any-more! Who spent all their cash, who spent all their cash, you broke bastards, you broke bastards, you spent all your cash.

Rich Mills has written to us on the topic of striker signing. He says "I will head down the bookmakers to place bets on both Duffy and Bore scoring goals against us next season and their combined tally taking Lincoln to promotion". Wow! Well, if that bet comes in enjoy your new life as a millionaire, Rich. Perhaps you could then buy GTFC and buy all the strikers! All of them! The strikers!

In non-striker-signing news, the debate on who should play Shouty and Shorty in a film rages meanders on at a leisurely summer pace. David Miller takes up Miss Guest Diary's challenge to find a link to Donnie Darko "a film about a demonic rabbit and a hole in the time-space continuum." David says "Well it's not a film, but surely there's a tenuous link with Bunny Newtons night spot and the bottomless Chapmans Pond in there somewhere? OK. I'll get my coat." It's the summer David, there is no news. We need all the tenuous links with Town we can get.

Have a nice weekend people.