Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 27 June 2012

27 June 2012

It's gone a little quiet for news today, and although the grass at Blundell Park has undoubtedly grown since yesterday, we've been unable to observe further growth since Grass Cam® isn't the Big Brother-style live streaming camera your West Yorkshire Diary believed it to be when I first read about it.

The temptation with this story is, naturally, to make a cheap remark about how watching the Mariners is like watching Paint Cam®, thus suggesting that watching Shouty and Shorty's men play football is comparable to watching the coloured and liquefiable composition turn to a solid film on my wall. But that would be stupid, because: a) there were more goals scored at Blundell Park last season than most other Conference grounds; b) we've signed three ace players, so there; and c) we acknowledge that Grass Cam® was evidence of the superb new official website experimenting with self-deprecating wit.

My dad once said that, during a Town match, a fan behind him got so fed up of another fan's shit sense of humour that he shouted to him: "If wit was shit, you'd be constipated." To this day my dad claims he has never heard anything funnier said or sung at a football match. With that in mind (and to acknowledge the threat of a news void for the rest of the week) we'd like to hear about your favourite quotes and comments uttered on the terraces at BP (or anywhere else you've been to see the Mariners). Email diary@codalmighty.com or post on our Facebook thing.

In the absence of any news of substance I always like to indulge in the old practice of nesbit spotting on the messageboard that claims it runs GTFC. To be fair to The Fishy, it's a constant source of entertainment. And what it lacks in rationalism and logic, it more than makes up for in pure amusement. So when they're not indulging in a bit of one-upmanship or attacking each other on their loose grasp of the English language, the fans having a six-page debate on whether Joe Colbeck hates Grimsby because of one flippant and facetious tweet.

With chuff all else to write about, I guess we should just continue to live off the excitement and anticipation that the managers are currently feeling about the signing of Sam Hatton. Please bottle that excitement and deliver it into my veins through an intravenous drip! And if the rumour about Aswad Thomas turns out to be true, well, you can chuck away those recreational drugs. GTFC will have just administered the biggest high since July 2009 when we battered Winterton Rangers 12-1 and fans thought our strike force of Jean Louis Akpa-Akpro and Barry Conlon were going to smash our way out of the fourth division - something which they accomplished with aplomb.