Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 13 June 2012

13 June 2012

It seems the PR manager for the company that sponsors the Football Conference is almost as deluded optimistic about Town's chances of promotion as the Town fans themselves. According to Alan Alger, the Mariners are "almost guaranteed" to be in the play-offs, listing us as fourth favourites to win the league at 13/2. So, if you put a tenner on that, you stand to lose a tenner and further line the pockets of Alan Alger's employers.

Your West Yorkshire Diary opened an online betting account last season and downloaded the app for my snazzy smartphone. It was when I bet two pounds on Tonbridge Angels to beat Dartford when they were losing 1-0 at half time that I considered whether I really wanted to enter the world of gambling. And when you take into account that I placed that bet while sat on the loo, you can understand why it forced me to consider where my life was going.

I lost those two pounds, by the way.

Which reminds me - when will that well-known betting company change its advert from the one that has Ray Winstone talking to his own floaty head? Floaty Ray always suggests going for cards and corners, and yet the odds that pop up on screen are always of the next goalscorer and never cards and corners. There's very little else in the world that encourages me to put my fist through my television more than the sight of Ray Winstone, or Chris Kamara and that shouty Italian bloke who looks like Frank Pickle from the Vicar of Dibley.

It's rumoured that Scott Garner - the England C international and captain who should still be with us if it weren't for Shouty and Shorty misjudging Charlie I'Anson - is close to joining Cambridge United. I wonder who will fill his boots at Blundell Park? The sightings of non-League centre-backs filling up their cars at petrol stations have been notable by their absence on message boards just lately.

I heard a snippet of news this morning during my commute to work which sounded like Steven Gerrard and Scott Parker are tired from their exertions for England on Monday "because they're over 30", according to Roy Hodgson. I think it's at times like this that every Town fan in the land tuts, shakes their head and refers to Paul Groves.