Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 16 July 2012

16 July 2012

Hey, hey, hey kids, your most Deviant of Diaries has returned from the dull and drenched depths of London and Leicester and is agog at all these new players and games 'n' goals a-go-go. The hysteria is infectious, which is why we don't eat raw eggs down this end of the forgotten county.

And I prefer clematis to hysteria - more varied colours and bigger flowers.

Squadbuilding? Is it worth it when half of 'em get paid off by Christmas? It's not just a rumour that was spread around Town for those old heads who insist that no football team is complete without a small snarling Scotsman lifting his kilt and twirling a claymore. There is comfort and joy on this fine day. Shorty and Shouty, the John and Ashley of lower league management, have chosen Derek Niven to be their new Stacy Coldicott. The Pontoon Pitbull's got the look of a man who hunts for his own raw meat.

Oh, we're back to that sinking feeling as the short but not fat and hairy-legged one has again admitted that 4-3-3 is rubbish as two Town XIs scuffed and scuttled to a 2-2 draw against the usually holey Trinity.

While Grimsby Town were stammering and stuttering to a dreary draw at Gainsborough, tomorrow's foes Doncaster clipped Cleethorpes Town around the ear at the Bradley Community Stadium. So Cleethorpes Town play in Grimsby and Grimsby Town play in Cleethorpes. Confused: you soon will be.

And finally, Our Ryan© might be in the Olympic team. I bet Topnotch John didn't think to put that in the sell-on the clause.

We're a funny lot.