Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Thursday 23 August 2012
23 August 2012
Your original/regular Diary is a naturally happy and optimistic kind of soul - despite having spent the first two decades of my life in Grimsby. But there are a trio of dismal phrases that are guaranteed to send a chill down my spine, deaden my heart, and sap my will to live. One, of course, is 'Family fun day'. A second is 'Replacement bus service'. The third is perhaps the most soul-crushing of all: 'Club statement'.
You know, when the Mariners' (newly) superb new official website wheels that last one out, that Blundell Park is racked by crisis once again. And so it is. Barely a week into the new season, the talismanic Liam Hearn has been official pronounced Crocked For Ages - and Major Shareholder Deadly John (Cancan) has issued one of his rallying cries. Deadly John's rallying cries, as any GTFC follower knows, forebode catastrophe with as much certainty as, say, an insane slash-and-burn public investment policy precedes a second recession.
Still, there he remains, John Shelton Fenty. The boy stood on the burning deck. Even if you're aghast at almost every decision he's ever made, you have to admire his sheer keep-calm-and-carry-on doggedness. Even as his voice wavers and the ship lurches alarmingly, he's still there, issuing reassuring platitudes about positivity and things in the building. He reminds me a bit of that excellent Iraqi information minister during the Second Gulf War, who insisted that his nation would prevail over the Great Satan even as the Ba'ath Party was legging it and the noose tightening around Saddam's neck.
STAT! Around 65 per cent of emails to the Diary end with the phrase "Keep up the good work". We normally edit that out when we publish them, because we're modest like that, but it does make us feel good. So, emailers to the Diary - keep up the good work.
So here's an email from Jeremy Baily, who asks: "Any chance of another T-shirt design from you guys? A broken Liam tribute, maybe. BP stadium of screams (you could nick that scream painting by whoever it was and combine it with BP). Lincolnshire Senior Cup Winners 2011 and 2012 would be nice (this could have happy players featured). I STILL GO TO BLUNDELL PARK (for season ticket holders only; this could feature unhappy supporters). Where have all the fans gone? (could feature an empty Pontoon stand). Anyway, I'm sure you could find something better if you wanted too. PS Keep up the good work, I'm still reading you!"
Thanks, Jeremy! We did kick a few ideas around for a new T-shirt, as we've had several other such requests. But staffing at CA Towers is at a low ebb right now and it's mostly a question of finding the time. Still, it's only the T-shirts that pay our site hosting fees, so I guess we'll find the time when we can't find the money. Hopefully see you around, chum.
And lastly today, here's David Elvidge in our inbox, offering greetings from north Norfolk. "I have been staring at gates - no, the heat has not got to me. Looking back at Saturday's attendances I notice that 'Town attracted 3,095 - the biggest gate on that day for the Conference. But hang on, it was more than Cheltenham and Rochdale in League 2, and greater than Bury and Stevenage in League 1. My conclusion: the best supported Conference team on Saturday surely deserved far better from the team. It is about this time of the year when I would enjoy the long journey from Norfolk to Blundell Park, but that will be on hold until things improve. Is it right that Alan Buckley is in charge of the yoof squad? If so, how is he doing?"
As far as I understand it, David, Robbie Stockdale remains youth team coach but Buckley is in charge of the under-17 team or something. Because, um, we now have an under-17 team or something. It would be a shame if AB's coaching expertise couldn't be drawn upon more widely than that, but hey, maybe it will be. Either way, we'll have to wait and see the results.
David continues with a reference to the random nutcase whose letter we ran in Tuesday's diary. "Your correspondent seems to be suggesting that the Diary is a ragbag of bits from the Telewag. That's not how I see it and thanks for giving us a good daily diet of original reading, even when there is sod all going on at BP. Things can only get better - can't they?" Thanks very much. We've been saying that last bit for nigh on ten years, and things keep getting worse, but you never know. Optimism, right?