Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 3 December 2012

3 December 2012

Welcome to your extra special fried rice, curry sauce and chips Secret Diary on this decidedly disappointing December morn, what with That Town no longer being the toppermost hound dogs. They ebbed away at Ebbsfleet, it is stated in the electronic runes; they hit the buffers at the freight station. They didn't win, they didn't lose, they came home.

With the GT site losing contact with the human race, and Dishy Dale Ladson's video diaries on holiday, we're left with arbitrary scraps of analogue mutterings from the media and chunterings from the chi-chi chatterers, some of whom actually went to a Grimsby Town game recently. Could have won, could have lost, played badly for a bit, played well for a bit is the general consensus.

Investigative journalism takes time, money, patience, determination, courage and a cool head in a crisis. None of which we can be bothered with here at CA Towers, but we've tracked down something to link to, so we can continue to be accused of being simple cut-and-paste merchants. We like to pander to our audience's prejudices; knowing your market is the key to success in this game. The shoutier one of The Two opened his mouth and opined thusly: "I think the problem was that we were trying to win the game." We'll leave that quote a-hanging in the air like fog on the Tyne. I've been on the trail of that lonesome opine for hours.

Elsewhere in the land of our past, a motley crew of connected wiseguys popped up all over the FA Cup highlights; two bald men fighting over a comb in Alfreton was a late night joy to snooze through. The small question of the weekend is "Are you a Morrissey or Maurice Chevalier man?" Don't forget four-goal Pheromone Phil Jevons allowing hacks to reprise his Barnsley 2003 headlines.

Hurrah, the virtual world has woken up and we can lazily link to the local ragamuffin match report. We get slandered, libelled, we read words we never read in the Bible. Gotta keep the customer satisfied. Happy now, Mr Grumpies? Everything we do we do for you.

Alas tomorrow is tomorrow and Gateshead's chasm of gloom is the destination du jour for all party animals on the swirling, whirling social scene. In between now and then check out the picture gallery on the official site for some homoerotic, post-leaning posing by Luton's Michael O'Reddy.